11.1.11

Lots of ones.
That seems to be a theme in my life these days.
"One" from A Chorus Line, the St. Andrew's musical this year. Songs and words from it are still ringing in my head. This is a good thing. There are so many powerful messages in that show. So many poignant questions. So many good lessons.
Next up: "One Step Closer to You" from Dean's yoga class on Sunday. I loved the emphasis on everything starting with one step. One chance to begin again. One movement forward. And forward to what or whom? Another person? Yourself? Either. Both. It was such a good reminder to me that every project, journey, relationship evolves one milestone, step, memory at a time. Few things that hold any meaning in my life came together all at once. They are more like beautiful puzzles that were put together one piece at a time. Silly me. I sometimes expect my current life to follow a different pattern. Why in the world would it? Why in the world would I want it to?
And then today in yoga, "One" performed by U2 and Mary J. Blige. At the end of another class taught by Dean. With an emphasis on the date - 11.1.11 - the 12-year anniversary of Yoga Vida. There was some amazingly good energy in the room tonight. The sort of energy that made you feel powerful and courageous and humble and grateful all at the same time. Perhaps it was the mix of teachers and students. Perhaps it was all of us acknowledging Yoga Vida's birthday and giving thanks for the place and the people. Perhaps it was the beginning of the month and the promise that always holds for me.
I think for me it was some combination of relief that November 1 had come and gone and along with it all of those pesky EA/ED deadlines that I'd fretted over for the last weeks...the energy that a new month brings to me with all sorts of hope for a new beginning...the beauty of the day and the gratitude that fall is finally here...the relief of having shared my plans for college counseling next year with the college counselors (and having gotten their full support) and the odd sense of empowerment that has come from asking for help - once the guilt started to melt away.
Guess it's a bigger day for me than I realized.
Good thing I'm getting a little older in a few days...I might need an extra hint of wisdom to be able to manage all of this.
Oh, and I did a headstand tonight.
On my own.
Without a wall.
And I held it for a few moments.
And then I fell over.
I'm not sure what moved me to do it. But it seemed like a good thing to do at the start of a new month. Besides, what was the worst thing that could happen? I could fall. And I did. And I'm still alive to tell the story. And I actually feel a HUGE sense of accomplishment. Both about the headstand AND about the fall. (It helps that I didn't take anyone down with me in the fall. It was actually rather graceful - I rolled forward like I'm pretty sure we used to do in gymnastics.)
Pretty big start to the 11th month of the year. Pretty excited to see what else it holds.

friday quotation

The little unremembered acts of kindness and love are the best part of a person's life.
~ William Wordsworth

I am fortunate to have so many of those showered upon me each day...sometimes I just need to remember them.

no.where and now.here

I figured that I needed to expand upon this title (created last week) before Dean tosses another gem my way in yoga this afternoon. Wonder if he knows that I've come to expect greatness from him in that class?! I realize it's sort of an unfair expectation but he keeps tossing goodness our way so I've come to expect/depend on it. And look forward to it. The depth of it. The simplicity of it. The relevance of it.
Last week he talked about how he used to teach elementary schools. Specifically, he talked about how he would teach students to say longer words. By breaking them up in to smaller words. And he shared a story of this with the word nowhere. He pointed out that depending on how you break it up, it can look very different.
no.where
now.here
Ah. Yes.
And then he went on to say, "Think about it, do you want to be no.where? Or do you want to be now.here?"
The answer in yoga class was a resounding leap of my heart and mind - now.here...please! I don't want to be no.where. I don't want to be any.where else but here.
And as I thought about carrying this yoga "mantras" out into my life I reflected that if I'm not now.here then I really am no.where. Which is a pretty strong case for continuing to strive for being present. Being in the moment. Literally being now.here.

friday quotation

True life is lived when tiny changes occur.
~ Leo Tolstoy

mountain pose (from a week ago!)

"Root both feet firmly upon the earth. Let the earth support you. Experience what it feels like to have both feet on the ground."
Literally, I have both feet on the ground a lot because I'm standing or sitting a lot and I don't typically stand like a flamingo or sit with one leg tucked under me. But figuratively, I feel like I'm often hovering just above the ground. And not in some cool "look at me, life is so grand I'm walking on air" way (although that is sometimes the case!). It's more like a "yikes! I'm feeling crazy, frantic and I'm just rushing from thing to thing and never really rooting myself or settling in" way. Which I don't like. At least not as a sustaining mode.
So I was grateful when my yoga teacher (who happens to be a former student of mine!) led us into mountain pose and reminded us to feel what it is like to have both feet on the ground.
This past week did not lead to much progress in the way of feeling grounded, but I'm ever hopeful that this week will lead me closer to that mountain that I want to stand upon so firmly...

friday quotation

Any given moment can change your life...you just have to be there.

"I've always tried to make room for anything that wanted to come to me from within."
~Carl Jung

This just seems appropriate as I'm constantly trying to make room in my own life for my passions, for rest, to follow those words and messages from within. And seeing as I've read two articles (at least) over the last few days about this, it seems I might not be alone.