Christmas present to myself?

NOTE: Internet difficulties when I returned from Charlotte meant that I didn't get to post this on the 31st...but I wanted to post it anyway. FYI - your Internet access can be quarantined by Time Warner Cable if they detect suspicious activity! I'm grateful they were on the lookout...and decided that it was safe to tread back into the Internet waters here at my house:)

I had someone ask me the other day if I ever gave a Christmas present to myself. I must have looked confused because she asked the question a second time. This time, I answered: "No...well, yes" and the poor question poser looked more confused than ever. I don't blame her. I also don't blame her for wanting to withdraw the question entirely because I went on to explain my thinking:
- "No, I don't usually go out shopping at Christmas with myself in mind" but
- "Yes, there are gifts in my life each day that I make sure are there and nurtured and some are tangible and some are intangible..."
(Note: in the conversation, I stopped here...but for the sake of my blog, I'll keep going. Lucky you!)
The tangibles are mostly in the form of stuff that I need (or that will help me) with this crazy passion of mine - triathlons. A new pair of goggles. A new swimsuit. A new pair of running shoes. A new pair of shorts. A new bike. A new set of pedals. Stuff. Gear. Nutrition. Something new for the kitchen. A book I've been wanting to read.
But the first things that came to my mind when the question was asked were the following gifts that I feel like I've given myself...and that some of you have reciprocated and given back to me (thank you):

- health: I know that in some ways the fact that I'm healthy is just a blessing from above, and yet I feel like I've made some lifestyle choices that have helped me stay healthy. Praveeta (yeah for acupuncture!). my great doctors here in Austin, especially Dr. Blevins. T3. Exercise. Meredith (nutritionist extraordinaire). Trips to Central Market, Whole Foods, and the Farmers Markets in Austin. Finding joy in the simple things. Not hanging on to anger or staying in bad relationships. Surrounding myself with all sorts of wonderful things...and taking every opportunity to smile and laugh.

- family: I'll be the first to admit that I may not always be the best gift to my family; I often fall short of being a wonderful daughter or sister or step-daughter or granddaughter. And maybe sometimes my family is a tough gift for me to accept. But at the end of the day, I'm darn glad they are there. I'm glad that I have the family that I do - for all of its wackiness and oddities and laughter and tears. I am who I am today in large because of them - and in large part because of the ways that they have made my life both easier and more difficult. They love me, and I know that. P.S. Usually it doesn't take until the end of the day for me to feel grateful for them!

- friends: what can I say...my friends are the family that I have chosen for myself. They are inspiring and encouraging, supportive and dependable, kind and loving. I have an ever-expanding group of friends in Austin and beyond, some who are new friends and some who have been around a long time. They each add something valuable to my life. I'm overly blessed in this category.

- love: So simple. So complicated. So wonderful. So capable of both filling and breaking our hearts. But it really is what brings us all together. And I suspect at the end of our lives, not a one of us will say that we loved too much. Even if you're like me and you sometimes think that maybe you do love too much (or in a way that people don't know how to handle) or forgive people too quickly because you love them. But, basically, I'm a huge fan of love. (And not only the Hallmark, greeting card, Valentine's Day romantic love but the "brotherly love" or "human love"or whatever you want to call what we share with one another.) I'm a fan of giving and receiving it. And of witnessing acts of love and kindness in the world around us.

- my work: again this is a spot where I'm so, so lucky. To have work that is meaningful. To be able to go to work each day glad to be doing what I'm doing, where I'm doing it, with the people who are there. St. Andrew's has been this wonderful family for me here in Austin for 13 years. In many ways, I feel like I've had an adult phase of growing up there. I'm grateful for my colleagues, for the leaders of our school, for the students, and for their families. The opportunities I've been given have been remarkable. I'm not sure I'll ever be so well-placed in a job ever again...lucky, lucky me.

- faith: I've been all over the map here...sometimes very dedicated to church and at other times more reflective and spiritual on my own. But at the end of the day, it's where I'm grounded. And even though I'm not sure right now exactly how to describe my faith (is it Episcopal since I go to chapel 5 days a week at school? or it is Presbyterian since that's how I was raised? or is it more personal than both of those?), it's absolutely what guides me through the tough times. The deep belief that I'm being cared for by something and someone bigger than me. The peacefulness that I feel when I let go and trust in some master plan. When I decide that I don't have to worry about every little detail, that everything is happening for a reason - even if I don't understand it right now. It's both unsettling and extremely calming to have this to rely on as mysterious as it all is.

So those are just some of the gifts that it feels like I give myself on a regular (usually daily) basis...and I hope that in some way by giving these gifts to myself, I'm a better person for anyone who knows me. A better daughter. A better granddaughter. A better friend. A better teammate. A better colleague. A better college counselor. It's like they tell you on airplanes: put the oxygen mask on yourself before you go to put it on someone else. That goes against the messages that I felt surrounded by for so long. But I'm coming to realize that in nourishing myself, I am not being selfish; in fact, I'm creating a better environment in which to be selfless. So, yeah for life. Yeah for the year drawing to a close with a new one stretched out in front of all of us.

epiphany

Call me an experiential learner. Call me hard-headed. Call be scared to break a pattern for fear I might not pick it back up again. Call me irrational because I'm worried that if I take a break I will lose "it" - "it" being whatever level of conditioning I think I've gained. Or call me someone who might finally be learning a thing or two from her nearly 10 days of vacation (or at least time away from work and Austin and my normal routine). But whatever you want to call me (insert your own wonderful/awful adjectives here!), I feel like I had an "a-ha" moment when I was running this morning.
I really have been taking it easy when I've been away from Austin (I realize that notion might all be relative, so I've been taking it easy for me), and the past two days in particular have been downright "lazy days" for me. Little to no physical activity except eating and lounging and doing puzzles and reading and hanging out with the family. And today, I was ready to run. Literally, the moment my feet hit the pavement I felt like a new runner.
Swift and energized and excited to be out there. The excitement has actually been there all winter (a shock to me!), but today, my legs felt like they were saying "Thank you, thank you, thank you..." the whole run as I jumped over puddles and wove my way through muddy sidewalks and big piles of leaves. So fun! And my time for my measly 3 miles proved that I was going fast...or at least faster for me.
So...yes, some of you are nodding "I told you so" and you can go ahead and say it in a comment if you want to because I totally deserve it. And, I'm warning you now, sometimes I have to learn the same lesson again and again and again. I think that we are supposed to get older AND wiser though so I'll try not to be so slow in my learning next time. And, come to think of it, Chrissie (another great T3 coach who I need to tell you more about) said to get faster and not older. So maybe I'll choose to get faster and wiser. Works for me.

thoughts from the tarmac

I know, for those of you not traveling this holiday season, these entries are really boring! (Okay, maybe a lot of my entries are boring - don't respond to that please, just stop reading my blog if you get bored!) But really, every time I go through an airport these days something blows my mind.
I consider myself a pretty well-seasoned traveler. Heck, I've been traveling by myself since about the age of 7 because that's what you do when your parents are divorced and one parent lives in CA and the other lives in N.O. Anyway, you get the picture, I've been navigating airports and security lines and making friends with flight attendants for a loooooooong time. At some point in time, the non-stop flights between San Francisco and New Orleans ended so I even became pretty well-versed in the whole of changing of planes and figuring out connections and new airports, too. When I was little I developed some really cool traveling skills (like being able to climb over two sleeping men with their legs stretched out so that I wouldn't have to wake them up and ask them to move when I needed to use the restroom - ah, the days of being little and very flexible!) and pretty soon (maybe around age 10) I thought it was totally useless for the flight attendants to make me wait for them so that they could escort me off the plane and to my next gate. (What I really hated was the big luggage tag type ID badges that I had to wear around my neck - it was as if I was announcing to the world, "BEWARE: I'm an unaccompanied minor" which can't be good for a child's safety come to think of it!) But I waited patiently nonetheless. I figured they were probably responsible for me in some way and I didn't want to make a fuss.
Besides they were always so kind to me and had usually had to dry some of my tears at the beginning of the flight. (I tended to cry when I said good-bye to either parent and no amount of surprise trinkets packed into my carry-on seemed to make me feel better.) Sometimes I got to go to see the cockpit, meet the pilots, and get a pair of wings (on a pin). And one time I must have been pretty inconsolable because I got to pass out drinks with the flight attendant! Obviously, this was all pre 9-11, which brings me to the point of this post. A lot of things have changed in airplane travel over the last 5-10 years. And unless you haven't been on an airplane in that time or you've been living under a rock, I can't imagine how you've missed the news of all of it. I'm not trying to be rude or pretend like I'm a know-it-all traveler (as you know, I will only claim to be able to navigate security, airports, and sleep on planes), but really, it was pretty big news when airport security was heightened!
Anyway, the New Orleans airport was actually pretty quiet today. I know the airport has been less busy in general since Katrina, but I thought that the day after Christmas might bring lots of travelers returning home. Not so. I had PLENTY of time (mom and Gran dropped me off - thanks guys!) and everything was going smoothly. Only one person in front of me going through security. Sweet. It was my lucky day. Really? How long could it take.
Well, let me tell you, it can take pretty long when somehow, someone failed to miss the news back in 2006 that you can no longer carry on large amounts of liquid. You have to put little bottles (3 oz. max) of hand sanitizer and lotion and mouthwash and whatever else you might be carrying on that is a liquid in one Ziploc baggie that is 1-quart size (3-1-1) and send it through the security screening that way. You cannot bring anything to drink through security with you. No water. No coffee. No beer. You have to buy that once you clear security - the shops inside airport terminals are loving this! Pretty much everyone who travels with any frequency knows this. And in case you forget, when you're in line for security there are signs up everywhere with really clear pictures (in case you don't want to read the fine print). So, I'm not sure why someone would ever dream that full bottles of Scope, shampoo, conditioner, and lotion would make it through security in a suitcase that she thought she was carrying on the plane?!
I was watching this all unfold before me in awe, mostly because she was in awe that they were going through her bag and telling her that they'd have to dispose of her items for her. She started arguing with them that they'd made it through on her flight to New Orleans and that she didn't understand why they were being so strict! It was great entertainment. (But I was polite and didn't laugh - although the other security folks and I did exchange humorous glances.) And it only got better when they questioned whether her bag would fit in an overhead bin. (I can tell you it won't; but that's not my job since I gave up my dream of being a flight attendant a long time ago!)
Anyway, I felt sort of bad for her because she was really upset to part ways with her stuff. I wanted to assure her that they could be replaced and that in the future there were small bottles to put these items in or even small travel bottles of the products. But instead I tried not to show that I was amused by this, and I reloaded my items into my bag so I could head to my gate.
Just another day in the life of a holiday traveler...luckily there are no plane delays right now, I have a window seat, it's a non-stop flight from New Orleans to Charlotte, and I'll have family waiting on the other end. Doesn't get much better than that. Bon voyage! (And please, don't duplicate the security scene that I described on your future travels. Although if I happen to fall in line behind you, you'll be in luck because I won't be annoyed...but I might get a good chuckle out of it all!)

Merry Christmas to all...

...and what a funny Christmas it was. We thought we had everything all lined up - sort of like the Christmas trees in this picture. But the reality of our day was more like the other picture in this post!
I won't go into all of the details here but let's just say that except for my morning run through Audubon Park (which I love, love, love because it's usually filled with great people watching - kids with new bikes or scooters or skates...new puppies...it's the best!), pretty much nothing was as we'd ever had it before or as we had planned it for today. I did make a couple of nice meals for mom and Gran (including two quiches that they can keep eating after I've gone to NC)...and the irony of that is really funny. They didn't want me to cook for Christmas because they didn't want me to have to be in the kitchen all day - even though I would have been delighted. And then through an odd series of events, I ended up in the kitchen all day. But not really making a Christmas meal.
Life is funny that way. Today was funny that way. It was a reminder to me to be open to changes. To be flexible. To embrace the unexpected and to not take things so seriously. And it's really funny that I, the one who usually isn't entirely graceful about sudden changes in plans or things like that, got the biggest kick out of the events of our day. (Even though I have to admit that I probably wasn't as sympathetic as I should have been to others as they were reacting to the changes.)
I guess I knew in my heart that the day wasn't about fancy meals or everything going according to a plan. In fact, I'm realizing now that I actually got my secret Christmas wish - to be at home for Christmas and not in a restaurant after all. (Although it sure would have been fun to have been able to plan for being at home and to have been cooking up a big meal all morning!) In some ways, today was what I really want Christmas and these holidays to be about. I don't want them to be about dressing up or putting on appearances. I don't want us to try to be people that we're not. I want these times to be about being authentic, being true to our hearts, being together, and pausing for a moment to celebrate life and family and love and stuff like that. And in some ways, that's just what I was able to do...maybe mostly because all of the other "going through the motions" parts of it didn't work out. Thank goodness for "messy" holidays!

traditions

Funny how I have always thought of myself as a pretty traditional person - never doing anything too crazy, never thinking too far out of the box, following most of the "rules"...and yet as I look at my life right now, it's pretty nontraditional in a lot of ways!
For example, I always thought I would have holiday traditions with my family that repeated year after year after year. Not quite! Maybe going back and forth between mom and dad growing up added a certain lack of continuity - although there were traditions at each house. But I'm not sure many of them have lasted as I've grown up. And I'm okay with it! I've gotten to learn a lot about other families' traditions by spending holidays with lots of different people as we blend families for special occasions, and while there's part of me that hopes that I'll be able to create some traditions for my own family some day, for now, I love the little traditions that my family has become part of through other families. The one that stands out to me today is the Christmas Eve tradition of going to Galatoire's with the Stewart family. Their theory: Christmas Eve is for the parents...celebration time! And what better place to do it than in the French Quarter in New Orleans!
I'm not really sure of the year when we were first invited but mom, Gran, and I have been joining the Stewart clan for a number of years now. The truth is that it's much fancier than I would actually gravitate towards. I'm more of a jeans and t-shirt (or sweater or fleece!) gal but I can get dressed up when I need to. And Gran loves getting dressed up and going out so I'm happy to do it for her.
But I digress...the morning begins with someone - usually Meg - standing in line in the French Quarter waiting for Galatoire's to open. They don't take reservations so you just have to be there to claim your spot. The morning crew gets there before daylight hits the Big Easy but they are armed with coffee, beignets, and then later Bloody Marys so we don't feel too bad for them! But we're grateful all the same.
Once the restaurant opens (around 11:30 a.m.) everyone stakes their claim on tables that seem to be pre-ordained. It's so New Orleans. The same families eat there on Christmas Eve year after year and there is an unspoken understanding of where everyone will sit. Every once in a while a family needs some special arrangement (someone's gotten married and the new husband or bride is now part of the family and so a seat needs to be added...or someone has passed away and a seat is taken away). In this case, people are flexible and the "assigned" tables just shift.
Before we're even seated the mimosas and milk punch and O'Hens are flowing...the latter is only for the strong. (Not me...it's an absinthe drink and it's light pink and I tried one my first year and cannot fathom ever trying it again!) The drink supply is constant and the food quickly follows suit - shrimp, oysters, crabmeat, fish, Eggs Sardou,... you name it, Galatoire's has it! The food is delicious, but the people watching is even better. People are mingling - some barely sitting down to ever grab a bite to eat. Catching up on the events in their lives since last Christmas Eve. Crowning a new Queen and King of Galatoire's. It's sort of a three-ring circus and then we get tossed out on to Bourbon Street to go on with our day. (Today we were ushered out by a bagpiper?!) Usually to church sometime that afternoon or evening - always a question of whether or not we'll stay awake through the service and who will actually go.
And once back home, time to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" - which no one in my family will watch with me! Which is sort of okay because it gives me a chance to wrap those last minute presents. And finally, plans to sleep. With visions of a Christmas morning run dancing through my head...
It's all a little different from the visions I had as a little girl of everyone gathered around a fireplace with mugs of coffee and hot cocoa and bowls full of steaming oatmeal with raisins and brown sugar and a little bit of milk. (Clearly, I thought I was growing up in the northeast instead of in the south!) But that's okay. Growing up is sort of about letting go of old visions and appreciating the visions that are right in front of you. And today, I do.

cooking in Gran's kitchen

There are three women in my grandmother's house right now. Me. Mom. Gran. Three generations. (You can only imagine the family dynamics!) And if you're gender stereotyping, you might think there are probably too many cooks in the kitchen. Uh. No. That would be one cook in the kitchen - yours truly. Neither mom nor Gran will go much beyond fixing cereal, toast, a sandwich, or reheating something that someone else has prepared. So, in a funny way, it stresses them out when I say that I'll just whip up something for dinner. Gran usually wrinkles her nose and says, "What about the stuffed crab from Langenstein's?" And to tell you the truth, if I were 91 and didn't like to cook, I'd be excited about Langenstein's stuffed crab, too!
But I enjoy cooking...and it's a special treat for me to have other people to cook for. So, I'd rather cook at home than go out to a restaurant even though the food there is likely to be great. That being said, it's always a trick to cook here, for two reasons: 1) cooking in Gran's kitchen is sort of like stepping back in time (look at the picture! olive green counters and stove top and all! and making mashed potatoes with a hand held masher because there's no hand held mixer...fun!) and 2) cooking for mom and Gran is always a challenge. It can't be too spicy or too complicated. It can't have too many greens in it because mom doesn't really eat vegetables and Gran can't have too many dark green veggies because she's on Coumadin. Most of all, it can't look like I've worked too hard pulling it all together.
So, I make things like lemon chicken with a wine, lemon juice, parsley, and olive sauce to go over the chicken as I serve it up on a bed of rice next to some fresh broccoli. Or we have a light meal of sweet potatoes with black beans on top. Or a fuller meal of steak, mashed potatoes, and peas. Some nights the dinners are a hit and everyone eats every bite - this is a small Christmas miracle if this happens. And other nights, either mom or Gran sort of pushes the food around the plate. I don't get offended:)
Tomorrow I'll try to cook some things for them that they can eat after I leave...we have a joke about what happens to their meals after the cook has left! (And we always laugh when we get here because Gran says there is "plenty of food" in the refrigerator and when we look we find Saltines, orange juice, milk, butter, olives, pimiento cheese, and stuff like that! And the freezer - well, the food has been there since another ice age!) Anyway, I'm thinking of pulling together a quiche...and maybe some soup...things that can be frozen and eaten when they need something warm and filling.
If you're wondering how I came by my love of cooking after reading about how my mom and Gran would stay out of the kitchen entirely if they could, I could tell you that someone around here had to make sure we were getting a square meal! But the reality is that my dad, stepmom, and siblings LOVE to cook. In fact, they've been baking and cooking for days now...and probably have more meals in mind than we could possibly eat in the days that we'll all be there! My two cooking families...I love both of them.

the way to a man's heart...

...is through his stomach. Or so the old adage goes. And I found further proof of it today. At the bookstore. When I found this hysterical book - Are You Grumpy, Santa?
Summary: Santa is having a bad day. He wakes up early because Mrs. Claus is snoring too loudly. He stubs his toe on his bowling ball on the way to the shower where the water is freezing. (Duh, it's the North Pole...anyway.) His elves try to warm up his favorite Santa suit for him but they put it in the dryer and it shrank. So he has to wear an old itchy Santa suit. Finally, he's ready to head out the door to his reindeer and sleigh but he finds them buried in the snow. Once they get going, they almost crash into the North Pole. Oh, and he loses his hat along the way. At the first house, his belly is too big to fit down the chimney and he bruises his rear when he falls into the fireplace. In Paris, he's chased by a poodle...in Italy, he slips on some pasta...in Pamplona, the bulls chase him down...and in Phoenix, he runs into a cactus. Finally, he makes it to the last house where he ends up pulling down the chandelier, falling flat on his back, and declaring, "I'm a grumpy Santa Claus." Until he sees something under the tree...just for him. A plate of cookies with a note: "We made you all these cookies 'cause we love you Santa Claus."
The authors say that Santa smiled because "when people do nice things for you the GRUMPIES disappear". I know it's because the cookies were yummy...
P.S. The book is much funnier than my version of it...the pictures are great! If you need a good laugh, check it out at your local bookstore.

and on the seventh day...

...okay, so maybe it was more like the 14th day or the 21st day (confession: I've been really bad about really resting from my workouts)...anyway, on whatever day this is, I rested. And it felt good. And who knows what I'll do tomorrow. I might take it easy for another day. Maybe a walk. Maybe a light jog. Maybe some extra sleep.
Thanks to Logan for pounding the need for a day off into my head. I appreciate it - seriously, even if it looks like I've been rebelling. And thanks to Jess and Erin for reminding me of how important days off are, too. My family says that I can be stubborn about things. I like to call it tenacious. But that's just a pretty word for having a hard time of letting go of something...especially when it's a schedule. Time to try something new in that area...ah, my second New Year's resolution - balance (which includes days off).
And on that note, I'm resting from blogging today, too (and letting anyone who reads this blog take a rest from my long winded-ness, too!)...a day of rest all the way around.

no Tylenol P.M. required

By some stroke of luck, I was blessed with one of the best skills around - the ability to sleep on airplane. Honestly, being in an airplane is a lot like being in a car as a passenger - sweet sleeping conditions. I'm not responsible for anything except for being polite and helpful to the passengers around me and to our flight of attendants . being in an airplane is a lot like being in a car as a passenger – sweet sleeping conditions. I’m not responsible for anything except for being polite to the passengers around me and doing whatever the flight attendants tell us to do.
Just so you know that I'm not speaking out of turn, I'm usually asleep before the plane even backs away from the gate And I will usually sleep the entire flight. So I thought I’d offer my trade secrets for anyone traveling this holiday season. Caveat: these tips will not guarantee a sleep-filled flight (any number of things from turbulence to screaming babies to the passenger behind you kicking your seat may interfere with your slumber). But they are worth trying.

IN THE DAYS LEADING UP TO THE TRIP
- see if you can't deprive yourself of a little sleep...especially by staying up really late the night before a trip (either packing or doing something unproductive!). Maybe don't pull an all-nighter though b/c you're more likely to forget something if you do that...or sleep through an alarm.
- if you have not already booked a window seat, see if you can get one. If you're traveling with someone who doesn't mind you leaning up against him or her then you don't need to do this! If you have really long legs (I'm only 5'4") then maybe an aisle seat is better but you won't have anything to lean up against. Oh, and rethink the exit row...how can you sleep peacefully if you know you're in charge of opening the door in the event of an emergency?!

ON THE DAY OF THE TRIP
- run around like crazy in the hours leading up to the trip to get rid of any extra energy that you have...triathletes - think "reverse taper"!
- don't get to the airport too early...you will risk falling asleep at the gate and you need to flush the extra adrenalin out of your system by being in the security line wondering if you're going to make your flight
- NOTE: as with most things in life - reference my post from earlier this week - a good balance here is essential. If you are running too late, you will probably still be on an adrenalin high when you board the plane...no sleeping under those circumstances!

AT THE AIRPORT
- if you are sensitive to caffeine, avoid it...if drinking something warm or with alcohol makes you sleepy, indulge!
- try to find a place at your gate where you can sit quietly and read or listen to music or talk to a travelmate...avoid annoying people who don't get the clue that you are trying to ignore them!
- make one final trip to the restroom before you board the plane...there's nothing more annoying than nodding off and having nature call

ONCE YOU'RE ON THE PLANE
- get settled as quickly as possible...adjust your bags so that your legs are comfortable...take a blanket if you think you're going to get cold. I'll leave the pillow option up to you - airplane pillows sort of gross me out (I prefer wadding up a fleece or extra sweatshirt or something and using that)
- lean up against the wall and try to shut your eyes and enter the Land of Nod before everyone is even on board. Here's why: 1) people are less likely to try to talk to you if you are already sleeping (or even if they think you are asleep) and 2) if take-offs make you nervous, you'll be headed toward R.E.M. sleep by that time
- music...it might help but you can't turn it on before take-off so maybe have it ready to go if you aren't able to snooze by the time you reach the cruising altitude.

So...those are my thoughts...feel free to post your additions to the list! I'm sure it's not complete - everyone has his or her own trick. And if all else fails, there is Tylenol P.M. - or some other variety of drug to make you sleepy!
Ah...my plane is finally ready to board. I will be testing out what happens when you have your nap planned for the regular take-off time and your plane is two hours late...
P.S. In case anyone is thinking I'm an insomniac since I've written about sleep twice in a week, don't worry! I'm actually a GREAT sleeper in terms of quality and a CRUMMY sleeper in terms of quantity. Looking to remedy that this holiday season...

there's a first time for everything...

...like:
- chasing down a mail carrier (there was NO way I was letting a four-hour envelope stuffing extravaganza go to waste)
- almost falling asleep in Lessons and Carols (I was a tad tired...I had been up late and then gotten up early for our Friday morning run workout - not to be missed, I love it!!!)
- not being packed at all for a trip I'm going on tomorrow because today got taken up by too much work, too many Christmas gatherings, and too much procrastinating (pack or hang out with friends? easy!)
- imagining a day off from exercise in the near future (Sunday)...I've been REALLY bad about this (thankfully two people have talked some sense into me)
- really not having my Christmas shopping done for mom and Gran (sorry...the number of gifts you receive from me doesn't reflect how much I love you...I just haven't felt super inspired by anything in terms of gifts this year and have a hard time justifying buying something just so that you have something to hand to someone...thank goodness I don't have kids right now - they might not understand!)
- the first day of Christmas break...sweet

signs of christmas at casa etg

Cunningham Christmas cookies and Jezebel Sauce. These are the typical signs of Christmas around my house. Sometimes I bust out the tabletop Christmas tree. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I pull out the Christmas music and Christmas books. Sometimes I don't. But I always make Cunningham Christmas cookies and Jezebel Sauce. And then I give them away...which is the most fun part. Little gestures of love and friendship at Christmas time. Nothing fancy. Nothing extraordinary. Just something made by yours truly. Those are the best gifts of all - things you can't pick up in any old store, the things that come directly from the giver like food or time or offers to help. Life could be so simple but instead we complicate it with all the pressures of "doing" and "buying" for the holidays. Don't get me wrong, I love giving things to people - especially when it's something they will really enjoy or it's something they need. But I'd trade in the racket of a mall that's been decorated since Halloween or the chaos of a store for my kitchen with some music playing and the smell of freshly baked cookies and the hum of the Cuisinart any old day. Cookies and Jezebel Sauce...yep...those are the signs of Christmas that I love.

dorky training moment

I got so excited about 5 seconds tonight that you would have thought I'd won the lottery! Background: I stink at pacing. Logan tells us to start at our 10K pace and then drop 3-5 (sometimes 10) seconds each time. What do I do? Something like this (for mile repeats about a month ago): 8:47, 8:25, 8:05, 7:57. And thus the pattern sets in. I can't drop just 3-5 seconds for the life of me. But tonight that changed!
We were doing 400m repeats - starting at a 10K pace and getting faster within the set of four...then doing it all again...and again. And I did it! Amazing! 2:00. 1:55. 1:49. 1:45.
I'm not sure what it all means. I'm not sure I really knew I was doing it when I was doing it. But it was exciting nonetheless.
If any of you were waiting for confirmation that I'm a training dork. Here it is. Who the heck else gets that excited about five seconds?! Simple pleasures, simple pleasures.
(And only two more days of school until break! I love my job but I also love my breaks!)

balance

So maybe I need two New Year's resolutions: sleep and balance. They sort of go hand in hand actually. I've been thinking a lot about balance lately. I think we all strive for it. Because our lives usually feel better when we have some sense of balance. Between work and play. Between quiet and noise. Between being alone and having people around. Between activity and stillness. Between guilty pleasures and healthy living. And maybe lots of people struggle with balance like I do. But my tendency is to be an "all or nothing" kind of person. Not in the sense that I see the world as "black or white" (in fact, I live in gray!), but in the sense that if I do something I'm going to do it 100%. No half-way for me. So, you might be thinking, what's the problem with that?
Well, like most traits that appear positive at first, it can be a downfall for me when I take it too far. And I'm prone to do that. Work too much. Work out too much. Spend time by myself too much. Question myself too much. Hold myself to unreasonable standards too much. And then it's even tougher to get back in balance! So maybe for 2009 I need to focus on not getting too much out of balance...it's a lot easier to find equilibrium when you haven't veered too far one way or the other.

"34...feels like 22"

No, this is not a "34 is the new 22" post! It's an "oh, my goodness, it's COLD" post. I don't think it ever got above 40 today and when we were at our specialty run tonight (short hill, long hill...with drills in the neighborhood to shield us from the wind that nearly blew is over during core) it was 34 but felt like 22. We had an efficient workout - no one wanted to stand around for very long (or make Logan stand around for very long) - with the 7 of us who were there (Jess was back which made me really excited!). But if the weather folks in Austin are right and it is a colder winter than usual, everyone better get ready! I'm actually glad I've had these runs in the cold. They make me feel energized in a really bizarre way...and I know what to wear (and what not to wear!), how long it will take me (on average) to warm up, how quickly I need to get into my car, and how long it will take me to defrost after a practice. I feel like I need to be keeping a clothing log right next to my nutrition log in my training log!
Hitting the pool tomorrow morning - I absolutely LOVE swimming in this cold weather. Yeah! (Hoping that it doesn't sleet tonight and make the roads too dangerous to navigate. I'm not kidding:
Issued by The National Weather Service
Austin/San Antonio, TX
11:35 am CST, Mon., Dec. 15, 2008
... WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY IN EFFECT FROM 6 PM THIS EVENING TO 12 PM CST TUESDAY... THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN AUSTIN/SAN ANTONIO HAS ISSUED A WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY... WHICH IS IN EFFECT FROM 6 PM THIS EVENING TO 12 PM CST TUESDAY. THE WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY IS FOR FREEZING RAIN AND LIGHT FREEZING DRIZZLE. THE ADVISORY AREA IS GENERALLY ALONG AND NORTH OF A LINE FROM SCHULENBURG TO SAN ANTONIO TO LEAKEY. THIS INCLUDES AUSTIN AND SAN ANTONIO. A WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY MEANS THAT PERIODS OF LIGHT FREEZING RAIN AND FREEZING DRIZZLE WILL CAUSE TRAVEL DIFFICULTIES. BE PREPARED FOR SLIPPERY ROADS AND LIMITED VISIBILITIES... AND USE CAUTION WHILE DRIVING.... A WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY IS IN EFFECT THIS EVENING THROUGH TUESDAY MORNING FOR PORTIONS OF THE HILL COUNTRY AND SOUTH CENTRAL TEXAS.... A STRONG COLD FRONT HAS USHERED IN A COLD ARCTIC AIRMASS ACROSS SOUTH CENTRAL TEXAS AND THE HILL COUNTRY. TEMPERATURES WILL FALL TO OR BELOW FREEZING THIS EVENING ACROSS THE ADVISORY AREA AND WILL REMAIN AT OR BELOW FREEZING THRU MIDDAY TUESDAY. MOISTURE OVERRUNNING THE COLD AIR AT THE SURFACE THIS EVENING THROUGH TUESDAY MORNING WILL RESULT IN A MIX OF FREEZING DRIZZLE AND LIGHT FREEZING RAIN. EXPOSED STRUCTURES SUCH AS BRIDGES AND OVERPASSES WILL BE SUBJECT TO ICE ACCUMULATIONS MAKING TRAVEL HAZARDOUS. Taking a break from spin tomorrow night so I can give my body a rest, get a little extra work done at school, and finish up some errands around town...like mailing Christmas presents to my NC family so I don't have to worry about hauling them to New Orleans and then on to Charlotte. Which means I need to pull out the Christmas wrapping paper tonight - or maybe I'll wrap and box everything up tomorrow and swing by the post office on Wednesday a.m. on my way to work. Decisions. Decisions.

what to say?

Those of you who have been reading my blog know that I'm rarely at a loss for words, but tonight I really don't know how to express what I'm feeling. I had already written something for today - all about how I was wishing for more hours in the day because I had too much to do. But I just can't post it because it seems so irrelevant now. This afternoon I learned that a friend and teammate of mine passed away. She collapsed while running the White Rock Marathon in Dallas. She was so excited for it. She was ready to PR. And by following her on the live athlete tracker, it looked like she was doing really well. But I could never found her after mile 21 and now I know why. I guess I could be comforted knowing that she passed away doing something that she loved but that point seems irrelevant now, too. And the hours that I wished for in my original post hold nothing to the wish that she had more days with us - her family, her friends. Comfort, peace, and love to Erin's friends and family. I cannot imagine the deep, deep sadness that everyone is experiencing at the news of her sudden, tragic death. Maybe instead of wishing for more hours in which to get things done I should think about slowing down and enjoying the time that I have and the people that I have in my life. With sympathy and love...

wind...y

Man was our ride windy this morning! Our crew was small...think the T3 holiday party was a little too much fun for most of the team. There were about 9 or 10 of us out there this morning, and we set out for the Fitzhugh ride. I love this ride. It's pretty. It's challenging but not impossible. And today, it was windy. The wind was not supposed to set in until around 11:00 a.m. but by 9:30 it was so gusty that I thought I was going to fall off my bike several times. Luckily, that never happened. Shawnda, Yvonne, and I decided that we were going to go to the gas station (just shy of the turn on Fitzhugh) and then head back and do a couple of loops on South MoPac. When we saw Matt and Joe headed back our way (meaning that they'd decided not to go on to RR12), I thought to myself (well, I think I said it out loud): "You know it's bad when Matt and Joe have turned around!" Honestly, I'm sure the wind has been worse at other times but today was the worst that I've ever ridden in. Anyway, when we got back to Kiker everyone decided to call it quits - no loop on South MoPac. I have to say that I was torn. The wind was bad but I wanted to and/or felt like I should do a couple of extra loops for the miles. But I listened to Shawnda's peer pressure/sound advice: "In a couple of weeks, we won't have a choice about whether or not we're doing an extra loop. We're in winter training now, people. We can stop." Feeling like I'd let myself down a little, I packed up my bike and headed to get a breakfast taco. That and some coffee made me feel better...at least a little.

holiday party...T3 style

On Friday night, T3 swapped the spandex and Nuun for "tacky" holiday sweaters and cocktails! FUN! Some of the outfits were quite spectacular. Seriously tacky. Others were pretty tasteful. White elephant gifts gave us all a chuckle. And it was really fun to catch up with folks outside of the training setting.
I also got to play Santa to Chrissie, Mo, Logan, Suzanne, and Charles on behalf of the entire team. For about three weeks now I've been collecting money from teammates (with the help of Blythe and Liz) so that we could give our coaches a "Christmas bonus" that they definitely deserve. In a nutshell, checking my T3 e mailbox and seeing teammates approach me with their contributions at practices became a highlight of my day. I felt like a little kid who was planning a great surprise for someone - all giddy and barely able to keep my mouth shut. The generosity of the team was incredible. It came from people who've been part of the T3 for a long time and people who've only been with T3 for a few months. From people who train for all three sports with T3 and from people who only train for one discipline with T3. From people who have jobs with ample incomes, from people who have just enough, and from people who are probably worried about whether or not they will have enough since they've recently lost their jobs. The really neat thing was that the final total was the result of lots of small gifts - not one or two people writing big checks. Such a great show of teamwork. Such a great reminder that big things are accomplished in small increments (like an Ironman...or IM training...I'm assuming!).

Anyway, I was so excited to give the coaches their gifts but that meant being in the spotlight for a minute in front of the whole team - not my favorite thing, as those of you who know me know. But something that I'll do for people who matter to me - like our coaches. I think I stumbled over my words, but here's what I hope I expressed - how loved, respected, and appreciated our coaches are. I'm sure from time to time they sometimes wonder if we know all that they put into the team and to us as individuals; and, as much as anyone who's not in their shoes can, I think we do. We do notice the "behind-the-scenes" work, and we think they are simply amazing. Their knowledge, their organization, their dedication, their energy, their time, their sincere interest and concern in each athlete...they give all of these things and more to us each day. We are so, so fortunate. And hopefully our present is a small gesture of big love. We could have never given them enough.

sleep...

...and how I need more of it! That's my deep thought for the day. Seriously though, I have been telling myself that I need more sleep for years, but it might have to be my only New Year's resolution for 2009 to get it done! And it's going to be really important for CDA training! The quality of my sleep gets an "A" but the quantity gets about a "C-". (And that's probably being generous.)
I think it's making my workouts feel even tougher - although the majority of the group at core yesterday agrees that the class was SUPER hard. We're all sore! Quads, hamstrings, etc... you name it. If we worked it, I can feel it today. Especially with fins on in the pool this morning. And standing up on the bike tonight. One more tough workout tomorrow morning - surely more people will show up this week. It's only supposed to be 37 though so who knows! Got to believe all of this is making me stronger...or more insane. Maybe the two go hand in hand when it comes to IM training (which officially starts in less than a month - yippee!).
Signing off...to go SLEEP!

go figure?

Here are all the oddities of the day:
- woke up to snow/heavy frost on the tops of cars and the bbq pit in the courtyard
- finally caught up with some college reps that I've been trying to track down for a week
- got some news that reminded me that sometimes the universe works in our favor
- and I ran a mile in 7:41 tonight
I really can't explain any of those things! Okay, the first one can be explained by meteorology...but the others are a "go figure?" in my life.
Especially the last one since it's the one I theoretically have more control over. After a hard core class this morning with lots of lunges, squats, and other leg stuff. In the cold and windy weather - all bundled up in about four layers since it was in the low 40s by the time we were running (and feeling like the upper 30s). And after feeling like I've been battling some nasty germs that would like to become a full-blown cold. (I'm winning that battle, by the way - armed with Emergen-C and Mucinex!) How I managed to run at that pace, I have no idea. (And the wind was not working as enough of a tailwind to give it credit!)
Anyway, the fastest I've ever run for time was the last time we did mile repeats. I shocked myself by running the last one at 7:57. I seriously had no clue that I could go sub-8:00 on a mile. And then tonight we weren't doing mile repeats - only one mile at a 5K pace - but still, I ran that mile in 7:41. What's up with that?! I'm glad that Yvonne was there - she always keeps me going since I'm usually trying to keep up with her.
After the first mile, we did an 800 (3:52 - actually in line with our 5K pace 800m from last week!), then a 400 (1:56), then a 200 (not sure of my time - maybe 0:56 or 0:58), then another 400 (1:58), then a final 800 (3:53). I don't think we were necessarily supposed to get slower on those last two (the final 400 and 800), but I was working to correct my running form (arms mostly...), so I'll take that into account. Overall - a really satisfying practice.
I realized the other day that I no longer get nervous before going to run practices. I haven't ever dreaded them (if T3 - and Logan mostly since he coaches all of our run workouts - only knew what an accomplishment it is that there are run workouts in the world that I don't dread!!!); but I used to get really worried that I wouldn't be able to do them or that I'd be the slowest one or that I'd never see any improvement. But I don't feel that way any more. I know I can do the workouts. And if I am the slowest one, so what? As long as I'm giving it my all, I'm okay with that. And I have definitely seen improvement. Yeah for what training and coaches can do for you! Makes me happy to get out there - even in the cold weather. (Oh, yeah, there were about 10 of us at practice tonight...I lost that bet.)
It's supposed to be cold again tomorrow - high around 60. Core was chilly at the beginning but leave it to Chrissie to get us all working hard and have us sweating in no time. It was a big crowd this morning - sort of surprising since it was so cold. I thought people would just stay in their warm beds. Shows you what happens when you have a bunch of Type As in the same training group...
Swimming tomorrow morning and I'm actually excited! I love swimming any time but I especially love it in the cold weather. The air is so biting that it forces you into the water quickly...the steam from the warm water makes you feel okay about jumping in...but the getting out is bad! Thank goodness for sweatshirts and swim parkas.
I always feel oddly energized when the weather is cold like this so today was sort of "full of little kid excitement" day...and I plowed through a bunch of stuff at work. Thankfully. Off to finish that up...and then get to bed. Hopefully before midnight tonight!

good times...

...at swim practice this morning. "Good" in the sense of fun (lots of people and pulling the awning out of the pool when we first arrived) but also "good" in the sense of good times on my swims. I'm pathetic at keeping track of my times when we're swimming, but I'm determined to try harder. I just go by what Mo or Chrissie or Suzanne tells my lane to do interval-wise but I don't really have any sense of my pace (hmmm...this seems to be common theme for me). Something good for me to work on especially over these next six months.
Today's practice was hard. I think they are all supposed to be sort of hard or we're supposed to push ourselves to make them feel hard even when they aren't. But today's was just plain hard. A long warm-up and then a set with three components that we repeated three times. Part of it was a pull - which I'm getting better at. The other part was stroke work and drills. And then the last part was a fast 500m or 400m or 300m. That's where we had to get our times. On the 500 I was behind someone who I kept trying to pass but never could completely. So I ended up swimming it in 8:22 (1:40 pace). I know I can do it faster! On the 400, I switched places with him and swam it in 6:22 (1:35 pace). And on the 300, I swam it in 4:42 (1:34 pace). Guess I did get faster during the practice - no wonder it felt good. But I was also one tired girl at the end of it, with the whole day ahead of me!
And things at work are a little stressful right now. It's just that time of year. Holidays on the horizon. College application deadlines. College decisions rolling in. I'm supposed to be the calm one for everyone else's sake, but I'm beginning to worry a little about how I'll get everything done. I'm envisioning a big work weekend - thank goodness I have the weekend! And I'm reminding myself that it always feels like this right about now. And we always get through it just fine. Right? Right! It will all be fine.
This afternoon a cold front started blowing in, and by the time we left spin class tonight (which also rocked me...geez) it was downright chilly. No, it was cold. And rainy. There's a small chance of snow (HA!) but more likely sleet. I don't think we'll get enough of either to do anything notable to my day tomorrow except for to remind me that I need lots of layers for core and running! On that note, got to go and pack my bags...and crawl into bed in my flannel pjs (which are actually legitimate tonight since it's 34 but feels like 29 - or so The Weather Channel says!).

Zilker tree...and a run workout

Every year I think I'm going to make it to the Zilker tree...and I don't. Actually I think I've really only been about twice and I've lived in Austin for 13 years. That's pathetic, but it's also what happens when you always leave town for the holidays. Well, this year, thanks to the T3 run workouts being in held in Zilker for the month of December, I will have "been to" the Zilker tree three years.
I'm using "been to" loosely since we really just ran around/near the tree in our 900 m repeats. Still, it was cool to have it lighting up the path for us and sort of fun to see other Austinites flocking to it...probably thinking that we were crazy in all of our reflective running gear! Tonight's workout was 4 of the 900 m repeats (it's about 1 loop) and then some hill repeats. We were supposed to start around a 10K pace and then get faster from there. Thanks to Liz, I did! Our times:
1) 5:00 min + 1 hill repeat
2) 4:50 + 2 hill repeats
3) 4:36 + 3 hill repeats
4) 4:18 + 3 hill repeats
Awesome! And I actually felt decent. I was determined to stick with Liz even though her stride is much longer than mine (she's just a BIG tad taller than I am!) and was super excited that I could. She always beats me up the hills but I can catch her on the flats. As she said, "You pushed me on the flats" and I replied, "Yes, because you pushed me on the hills." I think she's really faster than I am but for the moment if I can hang with her I'm happy!
Oh, and the day started with yoga. It was a pretty uneventful class (felt slower than last week), but it was a nice way to start the week...

back in the saddle again...and feeling good (in more ways than one)

WARNING: somehow this post got really long...if you want to speed read, I understand. Just make sure to read the end!

Wow. Anyone who has ever been uncomfortable on a bike saddle knows what a difference having the right one makes. Seriously, I was on my bike for 4+ hours today (more about that later) and was freezing (it was in the 30s) but SO comfortable on my new saddle. Thanks, Jack (and Logan) for getting me on the right track with that. And, I have to say, being in the right one made me realize that I was not being a wimp with my old one. Seriously, it was like a rock underneath me. I'll stop there.
Having the right saddle in and of itself is exciting! But the really great part of my day was riding my (relatively) new bike for the first time on a course I've ridden on my old bike AND helping out some runners while doing it. The ride felt SO much easier or better or something... I know I was not out there to race and that might have had something to do with it, but even on "Quadzilla" I felt like I was moving! I also realize that I had not just gotten out of the lake or biked nearly 56 miles, but still, it was encouraging to feel so good on my bike. And what we (a bunch of T3ers and some other cyclists in Austin) were doing was really cool, too.
I've wrestled for a while with how self-serving all of my training and racing can be. I keep wishing that I could do something for others with it but it's tough to figure out a way to do that. I feel like I'll be doing it as a Community Fund athlete at Coeur D'Alene, but today was another way to give back a little. About 25 of us showed up at the Travis County Expo Center this morning to serve as bike escorts for the Decker Challenge - specifically for the "Double Decker" distance which is a full marathon...with LOTS of hills. And some big ones (i.e. "Quadzilla"). Our task was to "escort" a runner - or really "shadow" them throughout the race. We could talk to them, be encouraging, offer water, whatever. I wasn't sure how the runners would like it, quite frankly. I soon found out.
The first person I tried to "befriend" was having none of me being near him. He pretty much grunted every time I said, "You're doing great." So I decided to keep him in view but drop back. And that's when I found James and Annabell. They were runners from Georgetown and were great company for 26.2 miles. This was James' second marathon in 6 weeks - he was thinking this was not a good idea! And Annabell is getting ready for Boston. They were strong and friendly and welcoming of my company. Nice. James decided to pass someone on the second loop (the guy who was unfriendly to me before...go get him, James!) and he looked able and determined to finish it up on his own. So, I stuck with Annabell. I was glad I did as I was able to offer her some Gu at one point and she seemed sort of glad to have some company. I rode with her nearly until the finish line. And then I got to thinking of some other runners whom I had passed who looked like they were not having the best day.
So I doubled back. I was a tad warmer by this time (I'd been on the bike for nearly 4 hours and was JUST warming up...finally had toes again!) and was comfortable on my saddle so I was in good spirits. But the bigger factor in my turning around was that I thought about how lonely that last part of the marathon must feel when there were not very many runners to begin with and you are among the last ones out there.
First in my line of vision...the unfriendly guy from earlier. Sometimes the universe has a funny sense of humor! I quietly rode alongside him for a few minutes and then he said, "How much more do I have to go? Are there lots of hills?" Ah, we could talk. I gave him an accurate idea of what was ahead of him and then said that I'd be there until he was headed into the finishing shoot to keep updating him. He seemed appreciative - of the directions at least. I was glad to have had this second encounter with him. Funny how people will soften a little when they are feeling worn out.
I guess I could have stopped there, but I knew there was at least someone still out there - a woman whom I had met with Logan on the trail a few weeks back. I could not remember her name but she looked like she was having a bad running day. I was pretty sure that Logan was with her but I wanted to make absolutely sure that she wasn't out there by herself. Off I went. I saw them very soon and asked if there were any other runners - about 3 were still back there. Soon I found a woman named Cheryl (Sheryl?). She was all worried when I caught up with her because she was pushing the 4 hour time limit. She asked if I thought she should just stop and I replied "No! Keep on going until the pull you off the route! You've come this far, you don't want to stop unless someone tells you to." She smiled and said, "You're right. I can finish." She was in pretty good spirits and actually seemed like she wanted to talk. She looked good but said she wasn't expecting all of the hills that were on the course. I started telling her how many turns were left so that she'd have something to look forward to. And then she said, "If you weren't here, I would definitely be walking." I told her she was the one moving her feet, not me - and she laughed. Anyway, she finished the race looking pretty good but with only a few people there to cheer her in so I was glad to have found her.
As I turned to go back to my car, I saw Annabell - proudly carrying a 1st place female prize! I said, "Way to go, Annabell." And she said, "Can I give you a big hug? You helped me so much! We were all inside talking about how awesome all of the bike escorts were. Thank you!" I'm so glad we could help all the runners today.
Ah, life is so sweet. And not because of what I did - please, riding my bike for 26.2 miles was a cakewalk compared to what the runners did. It's pretty wonderful when people pull together. When people support one another. When you find a perfect stranger (on a run course or somewhere else) who might need something to have to offer - perhaps something as simple as companionship and encouragement - and you offer it. Just giving it away. No strings attached. For no real reason other than because you can. Feels good. Really good. Like what we were put on this planet to do.
Thanks to Annabell, Cheryl/Sheryl, and the guy who didn't really want me near him (I understand!) for reminding of that in a very tangible way today. And thanks to Logan for getting T3 hooked up with the Decker Challenge as bike escorts - what a great thing for us to be able to do.

rosemary

I love the smell of rosemary. It grows all over Austin quite easily - big old bushes of it that get little lavender flowers on them at different points during the year. I will nearly always reach out to touch it when I walk past and then love the way that my fingers smell.
But today, all I kept thinking about was how the fresh rosemary looked like little pine trees as I worked with it in my kitchen. How cute. And if you pull against the "needles" they just fall off and are perfectly ready to be used. Well, not really. And I knew that. I knew that I needed to crush or chop the rosemary or something, but I forgot that at the time. So now my rosemary chicken has pine needles in it. Silly girl. I actually managed to to pick out most of the rosemary as I divided the chicken into containers for my lunches this week so it will be okay, but I felt sort of dumb!
Spent about 75 minutes on the trainer this morning, took care of some business at the insurance agency, did my shopping for the week (and some cooking, too), and then managed to score a new bike seat and a new pair of running shoes this afternoon. Pulled a total "girl moment" at RunTex Riverside when the nice RunTex guy came out with my size 9 Asics Kayano boasting that it was the last size 9 that they had. I was all excited. And then I opened the box and saw a purple and gray shoe staring up at me rather than the turquoise/blue and white shoe that I'd had before. I looked at him, asked if he had the other color, and when he said that they didn't, I smiled and said, "Thanks, but I can't have a purple running shoe." At this point he looked at my purse, which is sort of a deep pink, and said, "Why not? It would sort of match your purse." I was not amused but I thanked him all the same. I know, it's a really silly thing to care what color your running shoes are, but I do. And I've never really liked purple and I need my running shoes to make me happy and the purple ones just wouldn't. However, when I ventured to the Lake Austin RunTex after my trip to Jack and Adam's I found a pair of the Kayano's in turquoise. Happy day! (And I got to use my $20 off coupon from the Run for the Water race...yeah! Every dollar saved on running shoes helps.)
Oh...my new bike saddle. I'm so excited to try it out for 26.2 miles tomorrow when I'm a bike escort for a marathon runner in the Double Decker Marathon. Jack fit me with a Serfa Tri-W2 saddle. I'll let you know what I think tomorrow...it has to be better than the one that came with the bike!

finally Friday

This is the image I have of this morning. Or it's what I was thinking as I looked up into the dark 6:00 a.m. sky and saw stars. I think this is part of why I love these early morning workouts...it's a cool way to start the day - crisp air, clear skies, and stars...welcome, winter. And maybe there were some question marks there, too, as a sign that I should question my sanity! Yes, I was the only one who showed up to the early morning run. Weird. I think it's been colder one time before and there were more people. Anyway, I stayed true to my word and told Logan that he absolutely could not stay and coach me in the freezing cold. We made sure that no one else showed up and then he gave me a ride home. While I love those Friday morning workouts, it felt sort of nice to take it easy. Just sorry that Logan (and I!) had to get out of bed.
So the big question for me - am I super committed or crazy or fearful or what?! Obviously a rhetorical question but one to ponder nonetheless...
Tonight will be another chilly one but I have sheets that are about to come out of the dryer and then I'm hopping into bed with them. Sweet. Such a comforting childhood memory of diving into a pile of warm laundry.
Anyway, I'm going to be able to get almost nine hours of sleep which might shock my body to no end...we'll see how I handle spinning tomorrow morning.

brrrr...

I think winter has finally settled into Austin! Yeah! It IS December after all! This morning was really cold...tomorrow morning is supposed to be the same. Low of 30. Right around the time I'm supposed to be running. I'm making a pact with myself right now that if I get there and I'm the only one then Logan (birthday boy today...yeah for Logan!) and I both get to go home! Thought we might be sending Mo home today but about six of us crazy creatures showed up to swim.
Glad that the week is winding down...it's felt like a long one, probably only because we had all of last week off! Anyway, off to bed - first night this week that I've hit the sack before midnight. Happiness.

yes...it's a real job

So my day went something like this:
6-7 a.m. core workout at the PTC (I think we had a record number of people...good energy!)
8-9:45 a.m. work at desk before St. Andrew's Day
9:45 a.m. walk into the weight room only to be greeted by 15 shrieking 1st graders who were playing tag...in the room with all of the heavy weight equipment...yikes!
9:50 a.m. the seniors begin to arrive and we slowly gather all of the 1st graders together and miraculously get them paired up with seniors (adorable!)
10-11:30 a.m. St. Andrew's Day service (with 1st and 12th graders sitting together it's always entertaining and very cute)
lunch
12:45-2:00 p.m. Bowling! Yes, we take the 1st and 12th graders bowling. It's one of the cutest things we do. Bumpers for the 1st graders. 12th graders wishing they could have bumpers as the 1st graders beat them!
And then on this particular afternoon, Josie (a colleague of mine) was on Jeopardy! How cool is that?! So we had a Jeopardy party at her house. She had not told any of us what the categories were, whether or not she won...anything. She couldn't. So we all waited with baited breath watching her punch in when she knew an answer, getting most of them right...including the final Jeopardy question! But she lost to Ben, from Seattle, who seemed to know so much about every category and ended up being a 4-day winner. Anyway, it was so fun to see Josie and she looked poised and like she was having a blast.
Then I was off to track practice...we did 800m repeats. 6 of them. We were supposed to do the first two at a 10K pace, the next two at a 5K pace, and then the last two fast. Thankfully Yvonne was there to keep me on track. We were good for each other tonight! She's a tad faster but I was able to keep up. Yippee!
Here were my times:
1) 4:13
2) 4:10
3) 3:56
4) 3:57
5) 3:50
6) 3:47
Good stuff...no land records but not too shabby. Oh, and I nearly forgot...we were fighting gale force winds. Seriously. It was SO windy. And now it's cold. Swimming is going to be freezing tomorrow - but I sort of love it!

helping hands and confirmations

When I stop to think about it (and I try to on a regular basis), I'm living such an incredibly blessed life that I am almost waiting for someone to pinch me and wake me from a dream. Seriously - I have my health; I have friends and family who are dear to me (and vice-versa); I have a job that I love and in which I feel both valuable and valued; I have hobbies that bring joy to my life; and I have several communities that I'm part of that continue to make Austin feel like home. Amidst all of this I have: students to work with who redefine what everyone thinks about teenagers because they are so wonderful and selfless more often than not, colleagues who hold me to high standards but who also support the collective efforts that we're involved in, and friends who will not only point out burnt out brake lights but who will offer to change them for you. Seriously. People looking out for one another in this world. It's a rare art in some corners of the planet. Not here on my planet. I feel so grateful.
P.S. Received at 10:14 a.m. - "Your entry has been received and entered in our database for: FORD IRONMAN COEUR D'ALENE."

no turning back!

I was casually checking my Hotmail account this evening, prepared to delete all of the junk mail that had certainly accumulated over the day when I came across this email:

Hi,
Please complete the Cfund online registration.

https://www.nasports.com/mastersignup/index.php

Please allow 5 to 7 days for the processing of your charity slot. You will get a final email confirmation once your name has been added to the participants list.

North America Sports, Inc.

I guess I should have expected it!? But I just submitted my CDA Community Fund paperwork last Monday and was told that the processing usually took between 7 and 10 days...and Thanksgiving was part of that time...so, yeah, I was thinking it would all be wrapped up before the middle of December.

Nope...today, December 1, I completed my waiver/registration form (no one told me I'd feel like I was signing my life away!!). And I got this email in return:

"Your entry for FORD IRONMAN COEUR D'ALENE has been received and is pending approval."

Yes, friends, it's really happening. I couldn't be more excited!

my love languages

A while back I read a book titled The Five Love Languages that talked about these five ways to express love: quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, physical touch, and words of affirmation. I think everyone gives and receives love in different ways, and I think that I'm most well-versed in the following love languages (not that I don't practice all of them!): words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, and cooking/baking. Yes, I just added in a love language of my own.
Then just today I was reading an article in a magazine in Real Simple titled "10 things cooking has taught me about life" and my love language was affirmed. Here are the 10 lessons learned by Kim O'Donnel:
"Here are 10 lessons learned from my hours in the kitchen. Yours would no doubt be different. But I guarantee that if you stop to consider what you're doing as you beat eggs for breakfast or share a home-cooked meal with friends, you may never consider it a chore again.
1) Small gestures can make a big difference...
2) Cheap thrills are closer than you think...
3) Control is overrated...
4) Sing if you must, but quit thinking so much...
5) There are always second chances...
6) Substance beats style every time...
7) We all have what it takes to create something...
8) Communicate, any way you can...
9) Your instinct may not be the best, but it's yours...
10) Less really is more..."
Of course, I have my own interpretation of each one of those lessons, but I'll spare you! And I'll let you read them in whatever way they apply to your life, whether you cook or not. For now, I'll continue to practice being fluent in my love language of baking and cooking...quite literally as I skip off to finish up a birthday treat for one of my advisees!

ice cream epiphany

I think I might be about to show my true colors...and reveal (again?) that I am not a true Texan. I discovered this weekend that I prefer Breyers ice cream to Blue Bell. And I don't think that it was just because I was comparing natural vanilla (Breyers) to homemade vanilla (Blue Bell). The Breyers simply tasted better. And unfortunately, I would know how to "rate" ice cream. Confession: it is my weakness. I can bypass queso and (usually) cookies and other things that people struggle with, but it's really tough for me to pass on ice cream. Or gelato. Or frozen yogurt. Or popsicles. Or sorbet. Or sherbet. Hmmm...maybe I have a problem!
In my post-Thanksgiving, grateful to have my family but also glad to be back in Austin, having just spent a nice evening with friends...that is my deep thought for the day. Breyers beats Blue Bell. Next taste test: natural vanilla bean v. mint chocolate chip. (Might end up calling this one a tie!)

some of my favorite things about New Orleans...

So, the truth is that for a good part of my life I sort of wanted to deny the fact that I was born in and therefore "from" New Orleans. There are so many things about the city that give one reason to shake one's head. The politics. The police force. The crime. The socio-economic divide. So much of it is so bad or corrupt. And maybe that's not fair of me to say since I have not lived here for 30+ years. But it always makes me bad when I return and feel scared to walk around or feel sad when I see the disrepair, especially post-Katrina.
But in spite of all of this, there are lots of things that I've come to remember that I love about the city. The food is spectacular. The architecture is beautiful. The people are resilient. And the spirit of the city refuses to die. You've got to admire that, no matter what you think of the city.
So when I'm here, I try to visit some of my favorite places...
1) St. Charles Avenue (it's beautiful...it's my reference point for just about everything because I don't really know my way around the city...and it's where Gran's duplex is!)
2) Audubon Park - this is where I run when I'm in New Orleans. I love it! It reminds me that the city can feel much smaller than it actually is when I see the same people in the park every morning. And it's a place to run where it's safe and predictable - even though I can't remember the distances from one trip to another!
3) Camellia Grill - seriously...go here for a burger and a freeze (I suggest the coffee freeze!). I hear the pie is great, too, but I have not actually ever had any!
4) David Spielman's studio - David has taken amazing pictures all around the world but some of the ones that are most dear to my heart are the pictures he's taken of New Orleans, particularly the pictures that he took post-Katrina (he stayed in the city) that now make up the book Katrinaville Chronicles. But I always love a trip down to his studio to see what he's done recently.
5) A number of bookstores in New Orleans...I'm always eager to make sure that they are still in business. Some favorites: Maple Street Bookshop and the Garden District Bookshop have been on my radar for years and a new one that has been added within the last year is the Octavia Books.
6) Finally, there's food...and music...and the French Quarter. Some of my favorite places are Cafe du Monde, Preservation Hall, Mother's, Dick and Jenny's, Franky and Johnny's, and the list of good places to eat could go on and on and on (and I didn't even list the really fancy places - because those aren't actually my favorites!).
So...I guess when I stop to think about it, there's plenty to love about New Orleans. I'm grateful to have grown up someplace safer and a little more liberal, and I'm thankful to live in Austin now. But I'm also glad to claim New Orleans...or maybe it continues to claim me.