A for effort?

Well, I would probably be earning a B for my "balancing work and play and life" if someone was grading me.  But who's grading me?  Well, no one.  Except for maybe myself.  And I'm working on that, too.  Balancing the process of "taking stock" of how I'm doing more as a reflective exercise than as an evaluative exercise.  I can sometimes (okay, lots of times) be an all-or-nothing kind of gal.  Not really one of my best qualities - I admit.  As a result, I'm often really hard on myself and don't give myself credit for small victories or allow myself ample transition time.  So I'm trying with this new work-play schedule for this year to permit myself some detours from the straight-and-narrow path.  To compromise.  To allow myself to take a few steps forward and one or two back and not throw in the towel.  To show myself some compassion and patience as I try to re-wire my habits, my self-talk, and my expectations for myself.  Bottom line:  I'm not doing half bad with this endeavor.  It's not easy!  But I know it's worth it.  It already is. 

friday quotation

"Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere; and, sometimes in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself."

friday quotation

I just love this...even when the seas are already calm!

friday quotations

"Days pass, the years vanish, and we walk sightless among miracles.  Lord, fill our eyes with seeing and our minds with knowing.  Let there be moments in which your presence, like lightning, illumines the darkness in which we walk."
- Hebrew Sabbath Prayer

yoga from a new angle

I'm loving my Sunday afternoon yoga classes.  Today was all about seeing our poses from a new angle.  Approaching them in a different way.  Breaking them down to preserve the integrity of them all.  It was all about wide-legged forward bend.  And wide-legged plow.  And wide-legged handstands.  Yes.  Handstands for all.  With assistance for most of us (me included!).  But what a great feeling to be aided into this position (except we were up on our hands, not on our elbows):

Zoe's theme today was all about taking flight...moving into new positions...leaving the ground...or choosing to stay grounded in one way and taking flight in another.  SO COOL.  I love how I always get what I need from yoga classes, even if I didn't know I was looking for it.  Today was about soaring to new places, physically and metaphorically.  A beautiful way to round out the day. 

new school year, new plan

I'm lucky to be on a school schedule for many reasons, one being that I feel like I get two new years.  The one that falls on January 1 and allows for new resolutions and intentions AND the one that kicks off the start of school - also filled with new resolutions and intentions for me.  Some years my resolutions for the year are very vague.  Examples from the past: "create more balance between work and play/life outside of work" and "don't over-commit" and "don't be so hard on yourself and hold yourself to unrealistic expectations" and "be reasonable when choosing what to say 'yes' to or when creating deadlines for yourself".  Are you seeing a theme?  (Yes, there are professional goals that I set each year, too, but these are the more personal school year goals.)
Not that it's a news flash to anyone who might read this blog, but I have a bit of a problem with saying 'yes' too often to additional duties or committees at work.  I am content to work, work, work...until I hit a breaking point and then I get cranky about it.  But there's no one to blame because I'm the one who said 'yes' all the time!  I could probably qualify as a workaholic, which is not helped when you feel like the work you're doing is really good work...for a really good reason...students, their future, helping them create and chase their dreams!
But during some of my summer reflection time, I made a new commitment  - to myself.  To create more time for myself so that I can spend it doing other things that I love.  I love my work.  But I also love other things.  And I need to create a better balance of the two.  There are many shifts that have happened at work in the past two years that have helped me shift this balance - some things that were disguised in disappointments, further proof that everything happens for good.
So this year, my plan is the following:
- no work on Saturday (sure, there will be some exceptions to this; but, in general, I want to reserve Saturdays for friends, farmers markets, long walks/runs/swims/yoga classes, projects around my house, working on my photography, volunteering, reading, writing, going on roadtrips, taking it easy...not thinking about work...so much more)
- more mellow Sundays (which will usually look like a walk, church, some work to prep for the week, afternoon yoga followed by cooking for the week with some good music playing in the background)
- more intentional day trips out of Austin (on those Saturdays that I'm taking off!)
- continue to create my garden at home...it's not a traditional garden, it's a garden in many pots, but it makes me happy to see the succulents growing and the gerber daisy from January (miraculously!) still thriving and even the tops of the basil plants peeking through the soil. Yes, I've killed some things in my experimenting with what will grow where, but in general it's coming along nicely.
- continuation of my summer DIY projects...like repainting my desk (maybe a bright yellow to contrast the gray-neutral walls???)
- visit more museums and art galleries
- take more pictures around town...and out of town
- go hear more live music
- explore volunteer opportunities (I have two in mind that I'm excited about!)
But also have some weekends with nothing planned!  My theory is that there is much during the week that I cannot control (faculty meetings, other meetings, etc...), but weekends are really mine. This feels very selfish to write as I know many friends who balance work with family and have little time for themselves.  And I feel a tad guilty about that.  But it is where I am right now. I'd love for the time out of work to be balanced by a relationship and/or family, but that hasn't presented itself yet so my reminder to myself is that it doesn't mean that the time outside of work has to be filled with more work!  It can be filled with my relationship with me and with friends and with Austin and strangers in Austin who might need something I can give and with nature and with art and with yoga and with projects and relaxing, and, and...  Here's to the new year!

friday quotation

"Life isn't a one-way street...you sort of get back what you give."

Wonderful words from Gran, who passed away one year ago today...and left us with thoughts like this and so much more to be grateful for. 

productivity with a hint of restfulness

Someone asked me how my summer was a few weeks ago as we were contemplating the beginning of the school year.  "Productivity with a hint of restfulness is my best description," was my answer.  Which was the honest truth.  It was a summer of projects - in my home, at work, and within myself. 
At Home (a.k.a. updates and transformations)
I had two major home projects on the calendar for summer 2013 - a new hot water heater and repainting the condo.  (Neither of which I did myself!)  The hot water heater was a pretty easy deal - well, at least for me as I made sure that the hot water heater closet outside was all clean and accessible and then I asked my wonderful plumber Dave if he needed anything as he went about his business of swapping out a hot water heater that had far outlived its life expectancy with a brand new one.  Hooray!
The second project - that of choosing colors for the condo was a bit trickier.  I lived with different colors on my wall. Determined to go neutral to create a very calming atmosphere, I worried that it would be boring.  Kelly, a wonderful interior decorator who offered me some ideas, reassured me that my artwork and furniture offered enough "zip" that the walls could be neutral. So before the beginning of school my light yellow, sage green, taupe, pale green, and palladian blue walls were transformed to Nuance (for most of the walls)

and Stone Harbor Gray (for an accent wall in the dining room)

The result?  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh...it's lovely.  And the artwork is beginning to go back on the walls.  So it's beginning to feel lived in again.  But it was nice to have a blank slate with which to work.
One final surprise project: the clearing the AC lines.  Which, thanks to YouTube videos and the advice of colleagues, I actually did myself!  (Yes, there's a bit of excitement there!)  Just a little wet-dry vac and colorful duct tape and I was good to go.  Oh, and a plumber's snake. And a bit of patience and a lot of crossing of fingers.  So far so good...although I'm not giving up my day job.
At work (a.k.a. traveling and gettin' more educated) 
I also had a bunch of work projects - a trip to PA (complete with some time at a working farm/B&B and college tours and a college conference), a summer college counseling institute here in Austin that I will be leading next year (yikes!) so this was my year to shadow, and numerous other projects around the office, and (of course, our service trip to New Mexico.  Some highlights from these trips:

Within (a.k.a. self-improvement and ETG time)
In addition to those other projects, I really wanted to spend some quiet time at home.  Reading.  Cooking.  Working on my photography.  Doing daily quiet times/meditations.  And maybe going on a roadtrip or two on a weekend since I wasn't taking a real vacation (save for a day or two in PA when the college tours wouldn't dominate what I was doing up there).  Also enjoying swims at Deep Eddy and Dick Nichols Pool.  And mid-week dinner dates.  And generally less stress.  Mission accomplished.  Even though I didn't take many days off and I had some unexpected things to deal with, I managed to return to school feeling like I'd recharged my batteries, which were sorely depleted after last year.  (More on that in another post...)  My R&R looked something like this...

More projects to come in the school year...stay tuned for those tomorrow.  For now, it feels good to be back blogging again (thank you, Taline, for the encouragement).  The summer felt like it was 'just right' although never long enough.  What would I have done more of?  Well, things that I'm working on incorporating into my school year, too...which is, I think, the universe's message to me.  That I don't have to save things up for vacations or summers.  That I can take day trips during the school year.  And read.  And cook.  And do house projects.  And see friends.  And go see fireworks.  Okay, maybe that last one is a bit far-fetched!  But you get the idea.  My challenge this year is clear:  don't work so much that it gets in the way of my soul being fed by all of the good things that happen outside of work.  (Note: this is an extra challenge when you're as lucky as I am to really love your work and to feel so fulfilled by it!  But I'm taking the challenge on!)  Here's to the 2013-2014 school year and the possibilities in it...