yoga tidbits

Today's yoga class was all about being present. Recognizing that we'd never been in that very moment before. That we'd never been exactly this person in this moment before. There's something powerful about thinking that way. It means we always have a chance to do something new, to do something different, to be a better person. Cool.
I felt powerful in yoga this morning and not only because I think I might actually be getting stronger in my practice. But because I really tried to stay grounded and focused. Our teacher, Deralyn, kept bringing us back to our practice and to the room. To our breath and to our mat.
And in the background, the empowering words "strength, courage, and wisdom" coming from the speakers. When repeated over and over again, even I come to believe it's within me.
What a great way to start the week. (Not to mention the good stretch it provides after our long Sunday runs!) Oh, and the final message - the importance of the final savasana or corpse pose. It's the way we end each practice and it's both relaxing and energizing. My favorite part is when we're reminded that our hands are open to the sky in order to receive all that the world has to offer us.

bowls

I really like bowls.
I'm not sure why.
But I know that I choose to eat out of bowls a lot.
Salad.
Soup.
Cereal.
Yogurt.
Ice cream.
Applesauce.
Sometimes even a piece of a casserole.
Everything is contained. It keeps things neat and clean.
Bowls hold all sorts of food and all sorts of clutter in my house. There are the bowls in my cabinets and the bowls on my shelves and the bowls on my tables that collect mail and keys and other things. Easy, welcoming containers that allow me to sort and separate things.
Which is sort of a funny thing because the other time I use bowls is in cooking...and then they are usually used to mix things together. To bring a bunch of separate ingredients together in one place to be made into a wonderful concoction.
These simple objects - pieces of art and useful household items - are 100% versatile. And maybe that's really my attraction to bowls. They are wonderful contradictions. Useful when you choose for them to be; totally empty when you leave them be. They are pretty plain, even when they are ornate...not too many bells or whistles, usually...but every once in a while you find a really complex one. They are both sturdy and delicate. They can be boring and really interesting. They can hold it all together or make clear distinctions between things.
Sue Bender puts it pretty well in her book Everyday Sacred:

I heard a story about three bowls.
The first bowl is inverted, upside down, so that nothing can go into it. Anything poured into this bowl spills off.
The second bowl is right-side up, but stained and cracked and filled with debris. Anything put into this bowl gets polluted by the residue or leaks out through the cracks.
The third bowl is clean. Without cracks or holes, this bowl represents a state of mind ready to receive and hold whatever is poured into it.
Sometimes I am that first bowl, so busy being "productive" that I don't notice when the very thing I want presents itself. Sometimes I am the second bowl, with such a fierce judging voice that focuses on what's not working that I'm unable to see or appreciate all the things that are going well.
And sometimes, wonderful times, I am the third bowl, able to be present and absorbed in what I am doing, whatever it is.

I've been all three of those bowls Sue Bender talks about at different points in my life. Maybe that's it. In fact, I think if I were a piece of dishware, I'd want to be a bowl. Just like I'd want to be a dolphin if I were an animal. Or a daisy if I were a flower. Maybe I relate to bowls.

we get the picture...

...the cycling gods wanted us to practice clipping in and out and one-legged drills for the entirety of our 55 mile ride today! But really, we understood that by mile 20 or so...did it have to continue for the rest of the ride? We found stoplights on Parmer and 360 and everywhere in between today that I didn't even know existed...hopefully I've hit them when they were green on all of our other rides out there! But today they were flashing their blazing redness at us at every possible chance.
Didn't stop us though.
Amy, Linda, Jan, and I finished up our 55 mile ride in good spirits. And I dare say that the hills on 360 didn't eat me alive today. Which is good because I have a 12 mile run tomorrow!
And while we didn't get a break with the red lights, we got a HUGE break with the weather. I think it was in the 80s for most of our ride...it almost felt like fall when we set out. Maybe I'll be lucky again for my run tomorrow morning. I'd love to have a solid run where I felt strong at the finish...we'll see.

friday quotation

Dance, sing, floss, and travel. (Unknown)

I know.
Pretty simple.
Perhaps not entirely complete.
I'd add "smile" or "give a hug" to the list.
And probably a million other things, too.
But I think that's actually the point.
To scale it back.
To think about life in simple terms.
And for that, it's not a bad start.

finding my voice

I'm not really sure what's come over me. I'm not really sure why it took me so long to feel like I could speak up. I've never really been a shrinking violet but in certain situations I have certainly had a tendency to sit back and either speak quietly to a smaller group or keep my thoughts to myself.
Well, not today. In an interesting discussion at work, I think that my voice was heard loud and clear. I surprised myself. I might have surprised the other person in the conversation. But I could not sit quietly and not say anything this time. It was like a flip had been switched and there was no way I could walk out of the room quietly without saying my piece. So I spoke. And it was sort of forceful. And rather direct. And even a bit animated. (I was worked up!) And I hope I didn't offend the other person in the conversation. Or come across as anything but an impassioned person who was sharing her opinion. Which happened to be a very strong one.
But it felt good. It felt right. It was a bit freeing to really just speak my mind even if it meant defying authority a little. Perhaps I'm a rebel after all?! Or maybe, just maybe, at 35 going on 36 I'm just more confident about letting all of the voices in my mind and heart find their own way into the world...

what are you looking for?

This was a theme in our chapel talk today and it really got me thinking. What are we, what am I looking for?
In life...in our relationships...in our jobs...in our schedule & how we structure our lives.
Do we ever really know? I think I've learned most about what I am looking for by finding what I am not looking for! Feels sort of nice to be narrowing the field, focusing in on what I want out of life...while still keeping enough of a panoramic view so that I don't miss something along the way or have such a narrow field of vision that I can't expand it to include something different from what I thought I wanted...life always surprises me that way. Thank goodness.

first day of school!

The ! in the title could also be replaced with ?!(*&^@ because I cannot actually believe that school is already beginning - again. And because I always approach the beginning of school with a tiny bit of hesitation.
One part of me is always excited for the new year - a clean slate. A new beginning. A chance to do it better. A new group of students to get to know - and their parents, too. All sorts of possibilities ahead. Ready to go, full speed ahead...which is a good thing because that's usually what it feels like as soon as someone presses "play" on the school year.
And the other part of me wants to press "stop" or "pause" or even "rewind" and go back to summer or just have one more day to catch my breath before we dive in. A chance to wrap my head around my changing schedule. A few more moments to tackle the summer "to do" list that still exists. Some time to make sure that I'm ready to be the best advisor, colleague, administrator that I can be - to mentally prepare for this cycle of school again. A minute, an hour, an afternoon...anything to delay the whirlwind I'm about to get caught up in.
No such luck...someone else controls the remote and all engines are go.
And, you know what, it's okay.
I've done this before. It's never the same. Each year brings something different. But if I remember that I know how to do this then I can catch my breath. If I remind myself that I know the cycle of things and if I have confidence in my ability to do my job well and with a lot of heart then I can breathe even when the pace gets fast. If I look around and reflect upon the fact that I can't help but love my work and my students and St. Andrew's and my colleagues and this community then I'm in good shape.
And I am.
And I know that.
And all of those thoughts got me through today.
And will get me through other days...but for now, just tomorrow. Day-by-day as I settle into this new rhythm.
That's the only way we ever adapt to changes. That's the only way we ever survive rough times. And that's the only way we make sure to soak up the goodness of happy times. By pausing. Each day. To catch your breath for the next.

looks can be deceiving

I got all excited in yoga this morning when our instructor said we were going to do the dolphin pose. I'd never done it before but since I like to swim and since if I had to choose an animal to be I think I might be a dolphin, I assumed I would like this pose. WRONG.
As Vic explained the pose, it sounded relatively easy. WRONG again.
When I Googled the pose later to discover exactly what the purpose of doing this is, I found out that it's a pose often used to counteract stress. It also calms the brain while it stretches your shoulders, hamstrings, calves, and arches. Supposedly it strengthens your arms and legs, but today it only reminded me of how weak my arms are! Seriously, my biceps were screaming from the start...and they never really let up. And my hamstrings, well, this pose looks like a lovely little stretch and really it felt more like someone was rubbing icy-hot on the back of my legs. I thought dolphins were supposed to be playful creatures...this pose was not playful! I think "happy baby" might be more my speed!
But I left feeling glad that I'd started my day that way - in yoga class (even though Warrior 1 never felt quite so tough and chair/awkward pose was more awkward and painful than ever). I love that every yoga class is different. I love that I discover a new pose or something new about a pose (or myself) each time I go to class. I love that the teachers ask questions like "What are you grateful about with regard to your downward dog today?" And then give us permission for that answer to be "I'm grateful for downward dog because it's not frog or pigeon!" And that was another take-away for me: 1) that things are not always what they seem and 2) that sometimes we can just be thankful that what we have isn't something else (something worse!).
Perhaps the biggest bonus to the day...getting to celebrate Amy's birthday with her from beginning to end...hope it was a wonderful one, Amy. You deserve all sorts of love and joy in your life!

trying to be more negative...

...but only with my run splits.
I had this funny (okay, it was funny to me) thought last night as I tried to envision my run today. I'm supposed to be practicing negative splits on my long runs. This means that the 2nd half of your run (or the 2nd part or whatever) is run at a faster pace than your 1st half. Usually this means that you really have to make sure you don't go out too fast. Which I'm notorious for doing. Actually, my usual m.o. is to go out at a steady pace and just hang there. Or, in a race, I go out great guns but then can't maintain that pace over the longer distances (case in point, CDA where I started with paces averaging in the 9s...this is not a good long-term plan for ETG in a marathon distance run!). So, I'm working on dialing it back at first and having something leftover so that I can finish faster than I started.
But my thought about negative splits was: "If when you finish faster than when you started is a negative split, does that mean that if you finish slower than you started it's a positive split?" If so...then I'm overwhelmingly positive in my running! And maybe given my wiring, this whole idea of negative splits is totally contradictory to my typically positive nature. Don't think that excuse will fly with my coaches!
I'm having a tough time switching to become more negative (in my splits). But I shall try...being more negative with my splits and still positive about my running.
P.S. Don't worry...that chart is just an example of someone's negative split. Not mine. I don't think I could run those paces for 26.2 miles (or even a few miles) even if I was being chased.

home ec

Cooking...cleaning (mopping, vacuuming, scrubbing - "the works"!)...laundry...organizing...paying bills...and even busting out the old sewing machine to repair some slip covers that have seen one too many washings! Of course, all of this after getting the bike grease off my hands from changing my wheel out and cleaning up from a 48 mile ride + a 30 minute run. Welcome to my (wonderful) life!

friday quotation

This quotation spoke to me!

"I run with my head, my heart and my guts, because physically, I don't think I have a great deal of talent or ability. I started at the bottom and worked up."

Steve Jones, former marathon world record holder

resilience

Each year at school, Lucy welcomes the faculty with an opening talk/homily. I've heard 14 of them at St. Andrew's now...yikes...has it really been that long? (Lucky me!) But this year's struck me as particularly meaningful, perhaps because the theme for the school year is one that resonates with me: resilience. It's long been the quality that I would list right up there in my top 5 if I were to list the qualities that would help someone lead the best life possible - for themselves and for others. So when Lucy spoke about it, I was all ears. In her words, "Resilience is the capacity to rise above difficult circumstances, the trait that allows is to exist in this less-than-perfect world while moving forward with optimism and confidence even in the midst of adversity. Resilience is commonly defined as the ability to recover from setbacks, the quality of bouncing back."
I've always thought of it as bouncing back - much like a rubber band. But I've never thought of resilience as the thing that helps us navigate an imperfect world with optimism and confidence. I loved that last part!
So here's to resilience for all of us...for trusting (or having faith, however you want to phrase it) that what is ahead is worth moving forward for...for believing that we have that strength within us...and when we question that, that we have people around us to remind us.

sleepy head with a new resolution

Okay, an old resolution revisited. I have simply got to start getting to bed earlier. No "real" blog post from Wednesday because I was writing it and conked out on my couch. I really had no idea that I was that tired. I could blame it on a million things but the bottom line is that I just need to get more sleep.
I think I've been running on a sleep deficit for so many years that I don't really notice when I'm super tired v. just tired. So...starting tomorrow: 7-8 hours of sleep/night. For a week. And hopefully longer but I have to start off with a realistic goal otherwise I'm afraid I'll set myself up for failure.
Quick calculation for me: this means that most days I'll be going to sleep around 9 and 9:45 each night. Okay, I can do this! Right?! Yikes.

inspired...

...by former students who call me up and want to spend time with their old advisor over coffee on Sunday afternoon and another former student who is fighting cancer and still another who writes me an email to congratulate me on my Ironman and then writes a follow-up email to my question about how her life is with this amazingly balanced perspective (not mention, it's beautifully written):

"Life on the west coast is so, so wonderful. I LOVE San Francisco and all the friends I've made here. It's unlike anywhere I've ever lived - it just feels like anything could happen here. I've never been anywhere so optimistic in my life (I wonder if it's because you sort of have to be a mad optimist to build your life on top of a major geological fault?). Actually, forget optimistic. Sometimes it just feels downright magical. And the weather's great, which is nice and somewhat novel to me.

The great irony of my life our here is that at the end of the day, the sense of possibility seems to be nothing more than a teaser. Every month, I get a feeling in my bones that this will be the month someone finally sees I'm worth employing, and every month I turn out to be wrong. It has been absolutely and without a doubt the most frustrating year of my entire life, and, as much as I love it out here, I've decided that I just don't have it in me to keep doing this for another three or six or twelve months. My lease is up at the end of October, so I've decided I'll move back to Austin if I haven't found work by then. I figure there's still a recession and that the job market will still be tough, but Texas isn't broke and there aren't quite as many overachieving and underemployed young people there, so maybe I'll have better luck there. Plus, I've been away for a long time.

So, all in all, it's been a tough year but also a good one, and now I'm really in an ideal position. I'd be insanely happy if someone finally decided to hire me here, but I'm also genuinely excited about the possibility of coming to Austin for at least a little while. And if nothing works out in Austin, I have this harebrained scheme to have a travel adventure... We'll see what happens.

Anyway, that was a much longer and more in-depth email than I intended to write, but, basically life is good. I'm really hoping to be able to come back for the class of 2004 reunion, so hopefully I'll get to see you soon. I hope all of your beginning of school preparation is going well, and that you're staying cool in the hot weather."

Nothing like some words from former students to inspire me in my work as I begin a new year...and to remind me of the precious balance that can exist in our lives. Even when things might not be going exactly as we would have hoped.

looks can be deceiving

Case in point: yoga class today
New teacher...started off with lots of breathing...I thought I might get off easy today (which would have been nice since I have to admit that I'm a tad sore/tight from yesterday. That feels a little wimpy but I think what happens is that I race and then I don't stretch...silly, silly), but that was not the case. Soon enough it was downward dog and pigeon and lots of lunges in between. And lots of adjustments from the teacher which meant that I was actually coaxed into doing the poses correctly. And it hurt more when I was doing them correctly!
Anyway, always glad to start my week off this way...and to leave with yoga thoughts, like our teacher's parting words from today: "May all things, without exception, be happy." Yep. Why the heck not? Here's to happiness...and peace...and joy...and love...and all of those things. But maybe, let's just start with a little happiness for all.

trying to be...

...a little speedier when I race.
When I met with Chrissie a few weeks ago, I pretty much confessed that I wasn't sure I'd ever really gone "all out" on a race before. I usually stay in my comfort zone, push it a little, but try to make sure that I feel like I can finish strong - maybe with a little left in the tank. I am not sure that I emptied the tank today but I came pretty darn close.
Had a solid swim...caught up with the wave(s) in front of me and felt like I was able to get into some groove and move through the water pretty swiftly. Actually passed people on the bike. You should know that usually I only get passed on the bike so this was pretty exciting. But of everything, I'm most excited about my run. I felt strong, I picked up the last mile, and I just had a great day of it. For all of the training we put in, you never really know what race day will bring. So I'm grateful for a good one. And for awesome teammates to be on the race course with. And for wonderful teammates who were there cheering us on. And just for the ability to do this in general.
And at the end of the day, that's what it's all about - just getting out there and doing it. But I suppose it won't kill me to keep searching for some speed and try to learn how to "race" and actual race. Who knows, I might just have some fun doing it...I certainly did today!
P.S. Congrats to all of the T3 racers out there today...we swept not only the podium but also had the best (and largest?) group of volunteers, in addition to the largest group of participants. Great day to be wearing blue!

breakfast in bed...triathlete style

Seriously, I crack myself up sometimes. Which is always a good thing, in my opinion. I mean, if we can't laugh at ourselves then I think we're taking life way too seriously!
My giggles on Friday morning started just before 4 a.m. when I got up to get ready for my 5 a.m. run with Jess, Logan, Jerry, and John. My alarm went off at 3:45 a.m. because I like to hit snooze at least once...makes me feel like I'm getting to sleep in a little. Finally got out of bed around 4:00 a.m., stumbled to the kitchen, fixed my bowl of cereal, got some water, turned around, and headed back to bed. Hopped in bed with my bowl of cereal eating it in some sort of 1/2 awake state and suddenly found it very funny that I was eating breakfast in bed! Can't remember the last time I did that! Granted, this is not what most people think of as "breakfast in bed" but it's certainly "breakfast in bed" triathlete style. And I get to do it again tomorrow morning before Sweet and Twisted. Lucky me, breakfast in bed twice in one week. How many other people can claim that?!

friday quotation

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." (Helen Keller)

Here's to adventure and living large!

where do I get it from?

Gran, "What are you doing?"
Elizabeth, "Just coming back from spin class. Getting ready to eat some dinner and then get ready for bed so I can get up and meet friends to run tomorrow morning. How are you?"
Gran, "I'm fine. Elizabeth, guess what I did today?"
Elizabeth, "Lord only knows, Gran."
Gran, "I went to exercise! I couldn't actually do anything today because you have to have an appointment. No one told us that. And I'll have to have one of my sitters with me because some of the handles on the machines are too hard for me to turn with my arthritis. But I'm going to try to go back again next week. Next time I want to at least do something. It really isn't worth it if you only show up and don't do anything."

So...when I wonder where I get the energy or the drive or the passion or the whatever it takes to get me to the pool, to the trail, on my bike, to the PTC, to yoga, to the track, to the hills...it's all here in my genes. In the example of my 92 year-old grandmother who uses a cane and/or a walker and has had three hip surgeries (including one replacement) in the past year and a half, has a pacemaker and terrible arthritis...and is still going to exercise. I've got a tough act to follow! And I will gladly try!

if I weren't a teacher, I'd be...

...a meteorologist! Well, more likely, I'd be running a camp or a bed and breakfast or I'd be a professional volunteer or something like that given my actual talents, but I've always had a small obsession with the weather. Ask anyone who lived with me during college when I tuned into the Weather Channel as often as possible. I was all excited to study it in college until I realized just how much science and math was involved!
But I've thought about this never-followed career path a lot this summer, because I think it's probably been pretty boring to be a weatherman in Austin lately. 100+ degrees for about 52 days. No rain. Hot. Humid. People dying their lawns so that the brown grass is green again (okay, I just heard that on the news and that IS sort of interesting...and a little sad to me). Really, what more can you say?
Well, today...big excitement! RAIN! THUNDER! LIGHTNING! WIND! Even some microbursts in Austin. And cooler weather (wouldn't you know it...I had to miss track tonight!) - what a great break! But also some big problems with down power lines and a TON of tree branches on the ground. From one extreme to another. Guess that's how we do things here in Texas.

caboose...and proud of it!

Amy and I have had a running joke that we're the caboose of the T3 rides on Saturdays. And it's not uncommon for us to be the last ones running on any given night at a hill workout or track practice (take Monday for example...granted we did do 6 sets of hill repeats...still!). But today, I felt like I officially earned the title of caboose when I was debating whether or not I could swim in a certain lane at swim practice and Suzanne said, "Stay here. Every lane has to have a caboose." I literally laughed out loud and said, "That's it, I want a t-shirt that says 'Caboose' on it!"
I'm not complaining. I actually think it's hysterical. Partly because I'm really not that slow at anything...I'm just slower in some things in comparison to many of my speedy, speedy teammates. Which is good. It gives me something strive for. And I like to think that my speed (or lack thereof sometimes) mixes things up a little. Every team needs variety, right?!
And we all have a role to play. I'm not sure I have a permanent role as caboose but while I am playing that part I'll try to do it with enthusiasm and humor...and hard work! Be the best caboose there is.
Which reminded me of a poem from camp:

If you can't be a pine on the top of the hill
Be a scrub in the valley - but be
The best little scrub by the side of the rill
Be a bush if you can't be a tree.
If you can't be a bush
Be a bit of the grass and some highway happier make
If you can't be a muskie then just be a bass
But the liveliest bass in the lake!
We can't all be captains, we've got to be crew
There's something for all of us here
There's big work to do and there's lesser to do
And the task we must do is the near.
If you can't be a highway then just be a trail,
If you can't be the sun be a star
It isn't by size that you win or you fail...
Be the best at whatever you are!
(Douglas Malloch)

yoga moment

I usually think of yoga as a thoughtful, smooth flow from one posture another. And today was no different. Until we had the chance to move into the wheel.
Background: the class had already been given the opportunity to move into a handstand. Amy and I took one look at one another and shook our heads...with a little smirk. Many people in the class already had their legs in the air. Maybe someday!
When wheel came around the option was bridge or wheel. Again, Amy and I looked at one another and shook our heads. First time around, bridge was it for me. Second time around, without any intention, I was suddenly in wheel. It was weird, I didn't think about it. I didn't get nervous about it. I just tried it...and up I went. It was sort of cool. It's been at least a year since I've even tried it - sure I couldn't do it, afraid of falling on my head and breaking my neck or something. But today, fears vanished and I was doing it.
And...drumroll...I also managed to do the yoga push-ups that have been a problem for me the past few weeks. That was exciting, too.
So, I'm finding new things each time I go to yoga...I'm pushing myself into new places...I'm discovering that I'm capable of more than I thought. And that I still have lots of room to grow.

love my Sundays

Great day today! Did 10 miles by myself on the trail. Well, you are never by yourself on the trail...but I didn't fall in line with any of the other T3 runners so I hit the 7 mile loop + the 3 mile loop on my own. Determined to do a negative split...and I did! (Every second counts, right? Let's hope so because the split was not huge!) But running on my own gave me a lot of time to think. My first thought as I tried to pull back and settle into a nice groove that would hopefully allow me to negative split the run was: where are my usual running buddies who rein me in right now?! Where are Jim, Amy, Blythe and Liz saying, "Laura and Elizabeth, remember, we need to hold back now so that we can pick it up later." I miss my running buddies!!!!
My second thought was: "Just you, ETG. All you today. Figure it out. Run your own run. See what you can do on your own. This is getting you ready for CDA training without the '09 crew."
And my third thought was: "Do I really like doing this? Or do I only like doing it with people?"
Some cycle of these thoughts followed me in a circular motion around Town Lake...and at the end of it, I had the best thought - I DO LOVE RUNNING. Even when the humidity is 1,000% and I look like I have been in Barton Springs when I finish the run. I love running more with friends, but plain and simple, I have grown to love running.
Even on days when I have to admit I was running because I felt like I needed to at the beginning and because I knew I could go and get a breakfast taco at the end! Somewhere along the way, however, I remembered that I loved running. And while I was stretching and visiting with some T3 folks and planning what was next, I thought: "And I love my Sunday routine...and it feels good to be back in it."
So off I went to Whole Foods where Jai asked me where the rest of my friends were (she remembers us from CDA training when we went there after every long run) and the guy behind me had breakfast taco envy he thought mine looked so good. It was! Coffee...ice bath...a little couch time...and then sno cones with Amy along with the swapping of cookbooks - ready to cook up a storm...an SAS event for recent grads...and a wonderful phone call with Blythe.
All in all, a great Sunday. And an overall weekend with a pace that suits me better - not quite as frantic as last weekend. Makes me feel ready to go into the week...starting it with yoga again...another nice routine I've created for myself. As my aunt said, "You've really created a life for yourself, Elizabeth" - and so I have. And I love it. It's not fancy. It's fairly simple. It's meaningful. And on a given Sunday morning it feels easy...and that's sort of nice.

it's the little things...

...that made it a good day.
- 16.85 mph (yes, that .85 is important!) on the bike...not to be greedy but hopefully I can settle close to 17 mph consistently over the next few months before CDA training begins.
- cleaning the faculty lounge at work
- getting officially introduced to Norman and Rio Hardberger
- grocery shopping on Saturday
- a good cup of coffee
- playing cards with friends
- an email with an apology (well, this was actually a big thing)
- hearing Gran tell a story
- things moving at a slightly slower pace than they did last weekend
...makes me look forward to tomorrow.

friday quotation

"Only the curious have something to find..."

This Side, Nickel Creek

girlfriends

Guys, please don't take offense to this but I just have to take a moment and say, "Thank goodness for girlfriends!" I wish that I could find the speech that my 8th grade English teacher, Mrs. Johnson, delivered at one point when we were in high school. (Note: it was an all girls' school so it was appropriate...although I remember thinking at the time that maybe she was just trying to make us feel better about not having boys around!) It was all about the value of female friends. She also talked about the virtues of marriage and all sorts of friendships and relationships. But I remember her saying that it would be your girlfriends who showed up when you found out you had cancer or were pregnant or had gotten engaged or had just had your heart broken or just needed someone to talk to. They will show up with food for you or your family when you need a meal. They will bring the ice cream or wine or pizza over when you need comfort food. And they will bring the champagne when it's time to celebrate. They will hold your hand when you're waiting for test results or when you're just plain scared. They will come and sit with you when a loved one is dying just so that you're not alone. They will not let you hide even when you want to...or at least not for very long. Plain and simple: they will just keep showing up. Even when know they don't know exactly what they can do for you. Because they know that sometimes you can't even begin to ask for what you need; but as soon as someone is there or someone calls or someone sends an email or a text, you find that having someone to go through whatever it is with you is just the thing you need. They know that hearing kind words from someone makes it all bearable. Or that even just being reminded that someone else is thinking about you softens the pain.
I'm not saying that guys aren't capable of this but as girls we just seem naturally wired this way! And, guys, I suspect it's the same for you - you need guy friends because you need friends who are wired like you are.
I've been especially blessed by wonderful girlfriends all of my life...from my days at camp as a child...through high school...into college...and now in my life beyond college. And just this week as I've watched friends go through tough times and how their girlfriends have rallied around them, I was reminded once again of the value of these friends. And I've been reminded of it personally, too, when I've found myself in old patterns that I need to bust out of or at least take a good hard look at. My girlfriends are great to bounce ideas off of, remind me of my strengths, and give me those pep talks when I need them...or set me straight and tell me that I'm acting or thinking crazy! What a lucky, lucky girl I am...to have SO many friends...girls and guys...but my shout out today is for the girls.

no better way to spend a day...

...than interviewing Gran. What a trooper she was. Two attempts with a recorder that I just couldn't ever quite figure out - was it recording or not recording?! One iPhone rescue and 3 hours later her wonderfully long life of 92 years has finally been put on tape (or iPhone voice memo). I feel so honored that she let me spend the day doing this. I know it wasn't easy for her. I know she really didn't want to do it. I know that it was actually downright exhausting for her. But these are precious stories and memories that she shared. And I have a new precious memory of this day spent with her. Laughs. Tears. Uncertainty over dates and sequences of events. Sweet moments. They were all part of the day. Lucky, lucky me. (Now to hope that the last 30 minutes actually did record...I'm losing faith as my iPhone churns away but isn't letting me listen to that segment. Poor Gran will get an early morning wake-up call from me if this wasn't successful so that we can finish this deal. She can curse me when I leave to return to Austin!)

Gran time...

...is just always good. Talking on her porch. Looking through old pictures and journals with her. And finally, surprising her with her birthday present - a book of my blog (as I said, a gift only a grandmother could love). Her reaction was priceless. She got teary-eyed reading the inscription to her. Which in turn made me teary-eyed. Of course, all through big smiles.
But I think the cutest thing was when I said I was going to go out for a while so that she could nap (she doesn't really nap if we're around because she wants to be visiting with us) and I picked up her book to move it. She said, "That's mine, don't take it anywhere." Alrighty then. And she took it off to her bed with her. My fear...she's reading it instead of napping!
And an afternoon rain shower just solved my run or rest dilemma...a 3:45 a.m. wake-up call comes back to haunt you at the end of the day. And an afternoon thunderstorm makes my decision rather easy. Not that I don't love running in the rain...but...I think I'd rather nap in the rain today.

yoga moment

I'm in week two of my Monday morning yoga practice. Different teacher. Slightly different classmates (although 2 of the 4 were the same...and still a very small group). Differently poses - the dreaded frog which only reminds me of how tight my hips are. And our teacher today suggested that we carry our past in our hips. Not sure exactly what that means for me?! Maybe in the past I wasn't very flexible? Or I have so very much (in my) past that my hips are packed tight? Who knows. All I know is that pigeon and frog do me in every time!
Anyway, I'm committed to making this part of what I do. Part of my weekly training schedule - but it will be as much a training of the heart and mind and spirit as it is of the body.
Emotional training bit from today: focusing on the present.

"Don't get ahead of yourself. There are many wonderful places to visit, many experiences to have, many people to meet and lessons along the way. But you aren't there yet. Stay in this moment. It contains the experience you need to have. This moment contains your happiness. Living this moment, being fully present for it, is the way to get to the next experience, the next person, the next emotion, the next adventure. Cherish the moment. Feel all there is to feel. See all there is to see. Learn the lessons from today, and you will be prepared for the adventures and joys of tomorrow. Be here now. This is the only place you need to be. And from this place, all things are possible."

This is really tough for me. I like to have a plan. I like to know what's ahead. I like to feel like I'm in control. And, well, sometimes (or most of the time if I'm being really honest), I'm just not. And I need to be okay with that. And in the yoga studio this morning it felt okay to just be present. To not be thinking about future - even the most immediate moments when I left the studio. Project: to carry that truly being in the present feeling with me into more parts of my life. And let go. And let life happen. Not out of complacency but out of a deep belief that here and now is the only place I need to be. And that from there, anything is possible.

confession

I cheated on Sno Beach today. And I feel a little bad. Amy and I are super loyal to Sno Beach and I actually couldn't have imagined going to another snow cone place in Austin, but we decided we had to try Casey's New Orleans Snowballs today. I can blame my New Orleans roots, but I also have to say that I was hoping they would have spearmint. And they did. And I must say that it was FABULOUS. Sno Beach is really missing out here with this flavor or anything like it. This shortcoming won't make me turn my back on Sno Beach (I'm not like that!), but when I'm hankering for a spearmint snow cone it is going to have to come from Casey's. Sno Beach has left me with no other option! Or maybe I'll get my fill of spearmint snow cones when I'm in New Orleans this week. Unlikely!
P.S. This snow cone came after a wonderful but long morning of volunteering at Jack's Generic where T3 was all over the place and SO many first-time triathletes were flooding the course. It was exciting. I love being part of that whole scene - I love being able to be out there cheering people on or helping people get to wherever they are supposed to be or doing whatever is needed. It's a blast and incredibly rewarding. Nice work High Five Events and everyone involved in Jack's Generic...another day you should feel proud of! And congrats to all of the athletes...you were amazing as well.

like grandmother, like granddaughter

I got a funny email from Gran the other day that was titled, "Too much" and it was all about how she'd tried to fit too much in one day last week. I emailed her today to confess the same thing. All good things but a ride, a tri meeting, trying to see Sara and Will, some laundry, some housekeeping, and a movie meant that today just flew by. Blink. It was good though. No one thing that I wouldn't do over again if I had the chance. But, phew, my eyes were a little larger than my stomach so to speak. Not sure I'll ever learn this lesson!