what a week...

...but I made it! I kept telling myself last week that if I could just make it to this Wednesday (today) that all would be well in my work world. And it now feels like it is. At least as far as big events go. College Fair last week...PSAT Day and Essay Editing Day today. Now they are all behind me. And as far as I can tell, everything went smoothly. HUGE thanks to my colleagues who helped make today go so well at school. The logistics are tricky. Basically, I'm trying to keep all the "trains" coming and going from the station on time. 10th and 11th graders in classrooms taking the PSAT with fabulous faculty proctors; 12th graders in classrooms working with amazing teachers who help them with their college essays OR in the library working with our great college counselors on their college applications.
And then lunch with my sweet advisees...it always stresses me out because there are cars + teenagers involved. And everyone treats the event like a bit of a "jail break" since we feel like we're breaking the rules being off campus for lunch! But today was fun - as it always is. And you'd think I'd learn to relax about it, but I think I'm just wired to worry like this. Home Slice treated us well and by mid-afternoon my advisees were on their way home or to musical rehearsal and I was on my way back to pack up the PSAT. With that finished (only took about 2 hours this year!), I headed over to track practice.
BEST SURPRISE in a long time...football game at O'Henry!!!! This means we do "track" in the neighborhood. I've seriously been waiting a year for this to happen...and I missed it last week when it did. You know my issues with track practice. Well, I don't mind track practice when it's not on the track! Very humid weather made the workout extra tough but it felt really good to complete it. Last "big" week in Conroe training so I'm trying to focus and push hard. Been tough with my work schedule and early a.m. meetings but I think I'm getting my hours in. Plus, I'll do 100 miles on the bike this weekend so I'm definitely going to have my work cut out for me.
Goal last week was to survive this CRAZY week...check! Now sleep - looking forward to a good night's sleep...a satisfied sleep.

my car...

...is not the one in the picture, but it has just as full of an internal life right now! Current inventory (from front to back):
- various water bottles (mostly empty) thrown on the floor
- bike
- boxes of bases for stands for college fair
- maps
- wetsuit
- yoga mat
- blanket
- bike helmet
- bike shoes
- "green" bags for grocery store
- bike pump
- extra running shoes
- bag with spare set of yoga clothes and general workout clothes because I wasn't sure what the weather was doing this morning and wanted to be prepared...damn, I would have made a good Girl Scout!
- random hangers that never make it back in the house
- camp chair
- umbrella
- box of extra bike gear...arm warmers, headband, gloves, leg warmers, tubes, water bottles, CO2 cartridges, socks, random non-perishable food items, miscellaneous stuff (extra Ziploc baggies, zip ties, sunblock...)
- bag of swim gear (goggles, paddles, swim cap, pull buoy, fins, etc...)
- container of workout drink (PureSport grape)
- and underneath it all in the hidden compartment...jumper cables! Because, really everyone should have these in the car...and know how to use them.
I think that's it.
The moral of the story: I need to clean out my car.
The reality: I know that as soon as I do, I will need one of those items that's in there right now. Besides, do I really want to risk not being able to survive in the wilderness should I get stranded in my car. Seriously, you never know how handy an extra wetsuit could be if it's below freezing?!
P.S. On another note...but related to my car...I have finally joined the rest of you and have a remote entry thingee for my car. I've only had the car for four years without one - that's not a problem, right?! (I won't go into great detail about why I finally got it now...let's just say I'm trying to be resourceful and come up with a work-around to turning my car over to the mechanics to fix a lock where I will surely have to leave my car for a day or two and pay through the nose for it... Frugal (a nice word for cheap, I know!)? Clever? Okay, maybe a little ridiculous but pretty funny all the same, right?)

old habits die hard...

I know this. And yet I was reminded of it again today in yoga class. Deralyn talked to us about quieting those voices in our head that judge us. Specifically for our yoga class she encouraged us to hush those voices that said, "You could do this last week or yesterday, why can't you do it today?" or "You've never been able to do headstand, what makes you think you can do it now?" (Don't worry...I didn't attempt it!)
Anyway, as I left yoga I kept hearing Deralyn's words in my head (a whole new set of voices, right?! Awesome!) and I thought a lot about those voices - the judging voices. We all have them, if we're honest with ourselves. They are the ones that tell us we're not good enough or fast enough or nice enough or pretty enough or smart enough or, well, you get the picture. They are the voices that ridicule our attempts to try something new if we don't nail it the first time around. The voices that convince us that we don't deserve whatever it is that we've earned or received quite miraculously.
I think over time we can quiet these voices. I've done it with some of the voices that judge me. It took a lot of work...and they try to sneak back into my head every now and then. They start as a whisper and if I'm on top of things they never become louder than an inside voice. If I'm distracted or feeling weak in general, they can become a full-fledged shout...not helpful!
But with other voices, I worry that I'll always hear them...that I'll always be my worst critic, that I'll always expect too much of myself, that I'll never think I've done enough for the people and places and communities that I love, that I'll never live up to others' expectations of me. Usually I can find a way to shut them up. But from time to time, I just have to pause and listen and say, "Really, you are NOT being helpful." So even though I left yoga more pensive than uplifted today, maybe that's a good thing. Perhaps becoming more aware of letting go of the voices on the yoga mat will trickle over into other areas of my life...

just a good day

You know how some days are just good days. Nothing terribly remarkable but just a feel good day. Well, that was today. I guess it all started with a good night's sleep in crisp fall air and rain softly falling on the bamboo outside of my bedroom. And then waking up to cool air again for my long run. Met up with T3 teammates at the rock - a small group of us but enough of us who ran around the same pace to make a nice little pack for the 7-mile loop. Ben, Yvonne, Jim, and I were the group and while Yvonne eventually sprinted ahead of us, we held a solid pace. Ben was on a recovery run and Jim and I knew we had 11 miles to tackle so we were keeping some in the tank for that last 4-mile loop. Or at least that was the plan. I've done a lot of runs on my own this training season so I was delighted to have company again! For the last 4 miles, Jim and I got unexpected company from Logan. If you know Logan, Jim, and me then you are wondering what the heck Logan was doing running with us. Recovery run for him, too (a.k.a. a nice jog with Jim and ETG) - otherwise he would have been miles ahead of us. But it was nice to have him with us for a while. For some reason, I felt strong today and felt like the first 7 miles were solid and controlled and the last 4 miles were faster but still controlled. I tried to focus on all of the things we're supposed to focus on - form, turnover, breathing... And sometimes I did. At any rate, it's one of the best feeling runs I've had a in while...well, since our last cool day. And I think that makes all the difference for me. I run better in cool weather. Fingers crossed for Conroe in three weeks. It's been a funny training season for me - getting ready for something that's not my "A" race, balancing a new "focus" schedule, and working in some days off. I'm really not sure what I will bring to the table on November 8 but I'm excited nonetheless. New course. Potentially cooler racing weather. Road trip. Teammates. FUN!
Speaking of teammates...Jess completed the Chicago Marathon today - way to go, Jess! And with a marathon PR to boot. Not quite the time that she wanted, which I only bring up because she had the most awesome, and totally "Jess" response which was basically that it just gave her something to work for next time. In the meantime, congrats are in order to this amazing athlete, person, and friend! It was fun to track her this morning and know when her legs were finally getting some rest!
The afternoon took me to the PTC to make some signs for the Longhorn 70.3 in two weeks. I'm not necessarily the most creative but I can color in other people's block letters quite well...and even do some of my own from time to time. Above all, the laughter with Catharine, Christine, Nancy, and Logan was priceless...I hope that the athletes at Longhorn get as much of a kick out of the signs as we did when we were making them.
Quick trip to the grocery to get some forgotten items for cooking and baking, phone calls with friends and family, a bunch of school work...all finished and finally I'm finishing up the day, sitting here in my compression socks that I've been in since my run, listening to the rain again (is fall actually here?!), and getting ready to hop into warm sheets just out of the dryer.
Yes, life is good. It might not be as exciting as some people would like for my life or their life to be. But, you know what, I don't care! I've never been one to live for excitement. I'd much rather be able to find excitement and joy in the normal, everyday life things because they are at the core of life. Hmmm...in writing that I'm remembering the graduation speech I gave a few years ago at St. Andrew's that was all about the "in-betweens" in life and how those are what matter. It's not about the big moments; it's about the every day moments. Guess I still believe that. Today was filled with lots of "in between" moments so it was a great day.

chivalry is not dead...

...the cops are out in full force on I-35, donuts & kettle corn smell REALLY good on a ride on a chilly day, and I should be grateful for what I have. And those are just two random observations from my day - perhaps I should explain.
It's finally gotten cold here...excitement! And what a shift to go from riding in 90+ degree heat to riding in the mid-50s. I dug out my headband, arm warmers, gloves, and got ready to go. A very small group of us were doing the 60-mile ride. Translation - 3 of us. And two of the three being much faster riders than I am. Jim, Jennifer, and I set out and along Slaughter it was fairly easy to stick together. There are plenty of obstacles in the road and reasons to go more slowly (like cars)...and so we did. But before we even started on Slaughter, Jim pulled his chivalrous move that he would use multiple times today. He insisted on "sweeping" for the three of us. Now, you must understand that Jim is far and away MUCH faster than I am. And on any given day, faster than Jennifer, too. But in true Jim style, he was more concerned about our safety than he was about his pace today. So at multiple dicey points along our route, he insisted on going last. I tried my best not to slow him down but that was just impossible. But I think it did make me ride faster...averaged just below 17 mph which is lightning speed for me! It ended up being a great ride...and I held pretty close to Jennifer and Jim for about 3/4 of it until my legs begged me to let up a little. I pushed them more than they wanted to go but eventually they got the better of me. No matter. I was thrilled to have hung in there like I did.
And even though I wasn't traveling at a "scenic speed", I had enough time to notice a few things. Like the high number of cops on I-35. I think I counted at least 4 for the little stretch that we did. Drivers beware - the cops are tagging speeders on I-35.
And even I don't usually get excited about donuts...they smelled REALLY good as I rode past the Donut Palace this morning. Oh, and the kettle corn from the garage sale on Slaughter smelled awesome at the end of our ride. Seriously, delicious aromas from food should not be allowed near our bike rides!
Quick warming up via a shower at home and I was on my way to Performance Wellness for my massage with Katie. My piriformis (a.k.a. a "pain in the butt") has been acting up again and Katie found plenty of gunk in my calves, too. So much that I have a new string of bruises from her kneading. I knew it was hurting at the time but I didn't realize it was hurting quite that much! But I must have known that it was pretty bad because I said at one point, "In my next life, I'd like a different set of legs." Katie's response was humbling...but totally appropriate. She said, "Be careful what you wish for. You could get a pair of legs that won't let you run, walk, bike, swim, etc..." I was silenced. She was exactly right. My legs have been darn good to me given everything that I put them through. So, I should give them a break and I should be grateful for what my body can do. And really, I am...but in that moment of discomfort/pain, the thought of having slightly less dense, tight muscles sounded really good. But tight muscles sound better than muscles that aren't strong or well enough to let me enjoy some of the things that I enjoy in life so I'm adopting a new attitude toward them. Maybe if I kill them with kindness and positivity, they will loosen up a little!
P.S. On a totally different note, my high tech Gran is possibly getting a laptop...watch out world, Gran will be cruising the Internet. Next thing I know she'll have a Facebook account!

friday quotation

You can't be really strong until you see a funny side to things.
- Ken Kesey

official fan of...

...Honeycrisp apples!
Seriously, I think these might be the perfect apples. Jess said so about a week ago. Amy confirmed it this past weekend. And I finally tried one this week. WOW. I've almost polished off the apples that I bought and am contemplating a trip back to Costco to get more because they are SUCH a good deal there.
I'm not quite sure how to describe them except for to quote Jess, "Imagine your perfect apple and it's a Honeycrisp!" Sorry I can't pay you royalties for that statement, Jess. But she's right. It's a little tart. Plenty sweet. Very crisp. And almost a mini-meal in itself. YUM. 4-star rating from me...and I know a thing or two about apples seeing as I eat one pretty much EVERY day for lunch.
...BINGO! As in the game. Not the song. Not the expression (although I think/fear I use it often). But the game. Played it tonight with some other fun-loving folks and laughed my head off. Really, it's such a silly game of chance. But it's no-pressure fun. Perhaps the best part is the dauber you get to use. Yes, I actually left mine at Mercury Hall although I was VERY tempted to take it home as a souvenir since I didn't win a single round of Bingo. But I was at the winning table...4 out of 7 winners from the night were at our table. CRAZY. We loved it and found ourselves finding the person closest to winning and willing that letter-number combination to fall from the ball basket. Warning - anyone celebrating my birthday with me this year might be subjected to Bingo. Get your daubers ready!
...games in general! Not the emotional games that some people play. In fact, I hate those. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm way too straightforward for them, I'm really quite pitiful at them, and I wear my heart on my sleeve and my emotions too close to the surface to play games. (FYI - flirting is not a game...unless you are setting out to mess with someone and then it is a game...but I digress.) And I've actually been really lucky in my life that I've observed emotional game playing but been subjected to very little of it. But I've always loved card games, board games, word games...you name it. I like to play it. Even if I'm not very good at it. And twice recently when I've been in a funk, sad about something, games have given me big laughs. So bring on the games!
...the (possible) cold front we're getting! I hate to write it in fear of jinxing all of us. BUT, it's supposed to be in the 70s this weekend with relatively low humidity. I'm sure I won't be able to stop chattering about it when/if it happens so I'll stop chattering about it now.