yoga tidbits

Today's yoga class was all about being present. Recognizing that we'd never been in that very moment before. That we'd never been exactly this person in this moment before. There's something powerful about thinking that way. It means we always have a chance to do something new, to do something different, to be a better person. Cool.
I felt powerful in yoga this morning and not only because I think I might actually be getting stronger in my practice. But because I really tried to stay grounded and focused. Our teacher, Deralyn, kept bringing us back to our practice and to the room. To our breath and to our mat.
And in the background, the empowering words "strength, courage, and wisdom" coming from the speakers. When repeated over and over again, even I come to believe it's within me.
What a great way to start the week. (Not to mention the good stretch it provides after our long Sunday runs!) Oh, and the final message - the importance of the final savasana or corpse pose. It's the way we end each practice and it's both relaxing and energizing. My favorite part is when we're reminded that our hands are open to the sky in order to receive all that the world has to offer us.

bowls

I really like bowls.
I'm not sure why.
But I know that I choose to eat out of bowls a lot.
Salad.
Soup.
Cereal.
Yogurt.
Ice cream.
Applesauce.
Sometimes even a piece of a casserole.
Everything is contained. It keeps things neat and clean.
Bowls hold all sorts of food and all sorts of clutter in my house. There are the bowls in my cabinets and the bowls on my shelves and the bowls on my tables that collect mail and keys and other things. Easy, welcoming containers that allow me to sort and separate things.
Which is sort of a funny thing because the other time I use bowls is in cooking...and then they are usually used to mix things together. To bring a bunch of separate ingredients together in one place to be made into a wonderful concoction.
These simple objects - pieces of art and useful household items - are 100% versatile. And maybe that's really my attraction to bowls. They are wonderful contradictions. Useful when you choose for them to be; totally empty when you leave them be. They are pretty plain, even when they are ornate...not too many bells or whistles, usually...but every once in a while you find a really complex one. They are both sturdy and delicate. They can be boring and really interesting. They can hold it all together or make clear distinctions between things.
Sue Bender puts it pretty well in her book Everyday Sacred:

I heard a story about three bowls.
The first bowl is inverted, upside down, so that nothing can go into it. Anything poured into this bowl spills off.
The second bowl is right-side up, but stained and cracked and filled with debris. Anything put into this bowl gets polluted by the residue or leaks out through the cracks.
The third bowl is clean. Without cracks or holes, this bowl represents a state of mind ready to receive and hold whatever is poured into it.
Sometimes I am that first bowl, so busy being "productive" that I don't notice when the very thing I want presents itself. Sometimes I am the second bowl, with such a fierce judging voice that focuses on what's not working that I'm unable to see or appreciate all the things that are going well.
And sometimes, wonderful times, I am the third bowl, able to be present and absorbed in what I am doing, whatever it is.

I've been all three of those bowls Sue Bender talks about at different points in my life. Maybe that's it. In fact, I think if I were a piece of dishware, I'd want to be a bowl. Just like I'd want to be a dolphin if I were an animal. Or a daisy if I were a flower. Maybe I relate to bowls.

we get the picture...

...the cycling gods wanted us to practice clipping in and out and one-legged drills for the entirety of our 55 mile ride today! But really, we understood that by mile 20 or so...did it have to continue for the rest of the ride? We found stoplights on Parmer and 360 and everywhere in between today that I didn't even know existed...hopefully I've hit them when they were green on all of our other rides out there! But today they were flashing their blazing redness at us at every possible chance.
Didn't stop us though.
Amy, Linda, Jan, and I finished up our 55 mile ride in good spirits. And I dare say that the hills on 360 didn't eat me alive today. Which is good because I have a 12 mile run tomorrow!
And while we didn't get a break with the red lights, we got a HUGE break with the weather. I think it was in the 80s for most of our ride...it almost felt like fall when we set out. Maybe I'll be lucky again for my run tomorrow morning. I'd love to have a solid run where I felt strong at the finish...we'll see.

friday quotation

Dance, sing, floss, and travel. (Unknown)

I know.
Pretty simple.
Perhaps not entirely complete.
I'd add "smile" or "give a hug" to the list.
And probably a million other things, too.
But I think that's actually the point.
To scale it back.
To think about life in simple terms.
And for that, it's not a bad start.

finding my voice

I'm not really sure what's come over me. I'm not really sure why it took me so long to feel like I could speak up. I've never really been a shrinking violet but in certain situations I have certainly had a tendency to sit back and either speak quietly to a smaller group or keep my thoughts to myself.
Well, not today. In an interesting discussion at work, I think that my voice was heard loud and clear. I surprised myself. I might have surprised the other person in the conversation. But I could not sit quietly and not say anything this time. It was like a flip had been switched and there was no way I could walk out of the room quietly without saying my piece. So I spoke. And it was sort of forceful. And rather direct. And even a bit animated. (I was worked up!) And I hope I didn't offend the other person in the conversation. Or come across as anything but an impassioned person who was sharing her opinion. Which happened to be a very strong one.
But it felt good. It felt right. It was a bit freeing to really just speak my mind even if it meant defying authority a little. Perhaps I'm a rebel after all?! Or maybe, just maybe, at 35 going on 36 I'm just more confident about letting all of the voices in my mind and heart find their own way into the world...

what are you looking for?

This was a theme in our chapel talk today and it really got me thinking. What are we, what am I looking for?
In life...in our relationships...in our jobs...in our schedule & how we structure our lives.
Do we ever really know? I think I've learned most about what I am looking for by finding what I am not looking for! Feels sort of nice to be narrowing the field, focusing in on what I want out of life...while still keeping enough of a panoramic view so that I don't miss something along the way or have such a narrow field of vision that I can't expand it to include something different from what I thought I wanted...life always surprises me that way. Thank goodness.

first day of school!

The ! in the title could also be replaced with ?!(*&^@ because I cannot actually believe that school is already beginning - again. And because I always approach the beginning of school with a tiny bit of hesitation.
One part of me is always excited for the new year - a clean slate. A new beginning. A chance to do it better. A new group of students to get to know - and their parents, too. All sorts of possibilities ahead. Ready to go, full speed ahead...which is a good thing because that's usually what it feels like as soon as someone presses "play" on the school year.
And the other part of me wants to press "stop" or "pause" or even "rewind" and go back to summer or just have one more day to catch my breath before we dive in. A chance to wrap my head around my changing schedule. A few more moments to tackle the summer "to do" list that still exists. Some time to make sure that I'm ready to be the best advisor, colleague, administrator that I can be - to mentally prepare for this cycle of school again. A minute, an hour, an afternoon...anything to delay the whirlwind I'm about to get caught up in.
No such luck...someone else controls the remote and all engines are go.
And, you know what, it's okay.
I've done this before. It's never the same. Each year brings something different. But if I remember that I know how to do this then I can catch my breath. If I remind myself that I know the cycle of things and if I have confidence in my ability to do my job well and with a lot of heart then I can breathe even when the pace gets fast. If I look around and reflect upon the fact that I can't help but love my work and my students and St. Andrew's and my colleagues and this community then I'm in good shape.
And I am.
And I know that.
And all of those thoughts got me through today.
And will get me through other days...but for now, just tomorrow. Day-by-day as I settle into this new rhythm.
That's the only way we ever adapt to changes. That's the only way we ever survive rough times. And that's the only way we make sure to soak up the goodness of happy times. By pausing. Each day. To catch your breath for the next.