in 2011, I resolve to...

...do less.
Yes. That's right. I'm going to attempt to create more space in my life by doing less. I realize that it will not always look like I'm succeeding (take tomorrow, for example...phew...it's a packed day for a Sunday), but it's my overall theme for the year. And it sort of terrifies me.
I'm a planner and a scheduler. My heart beats a little faster (with excitement!) when I see a training plan on a spreadsheet just waiting to be transferred to a calendar. Give me a time line for a project and I'm suddenly feeling very at ease. And I have to admit that there seems to be some affirmation in our culture when we say "oh, I'm so busy...I'm doing this and that and, and, and..." And, let's be honest, who doesn't like to feel affirmed?!
So, yes, this is uncharted waters for me...the girl who's been on a very full, rich, wonderful albeit a tad bit frantic schedule for, well, at least the last three or four years. And really probably much longer. And that is why my heart is again beating faster - but this time with nervousness - because I'm not sure I know how to do this "less" thing! I know how to manage a packed schedule. I know how to live from "thing to thing". I know how to multi-task. I know how to keep my heart rate low and look composed even when I'm frantic inside.
Honestly, I don't know if I know how to do "slower". If I know how to handle more free time in my life - well, in a meaningful way. Or maybe that's the point. It doesn't have to be meaningful. See what I mean...I might fail at this resolution before January is over!
But, by golly, I'm going to try to do it. And here's why - there had to be a reason for leaving that comfortable frantic life, right?! Right! And for me, it's because I'm curious about what else is out there in the world around me that I can't even see because I'm rushing through life so fast. What song am I not hearing on the radio because I'm so busy station surfing? What person in need am I missing on the street corner (or somewhere else in life) because I'm so focused on getting to my next workout/appointment/etc...? What relationships am I missing out on because there really is no space in my life for anything else under the current frantic schedule? What art (natural or man made) have I passed by rendering it to no more than a blur because of my pace? What blogs have I not written, what recipes have I not made, what phone calls have I not placed, what new hobbies have I not explored, what books have I not read, what dreams (literally and figuratively) have I not dreamt...because my life has been moving too fast?
I'm not really sure what this all looks like, this doing less thing. But I'm imagining something like this:
Less planning. Less scheduling. Less frantic running from thing to thing. Less structured time. Which ultimately (hopefully!) leads to...more free time. More time for friends and family. More time for spontaneity. More time for stillness. More sleep. More space for things that I don't even know that I want in my life to enter my life. More freedom to say "yes" when things come up because there will be less on the calendar. More of what really feels right in my heart (or the converse: less of what I think I "should" do to follow some intangible rules that someone - usually yours truly! - made up). Less clutter and more literal space in my life (yes, this will mean cleaning up the dreaded study more often!). Less worry and more faith. Less self-guilt and more self-compassion. Less for me and more for others. Less seriousness and more laughter.
I suppose all in all it's about more balance. I know, that's a lifelong search and I'm almost certain to not find it completely in 2011, but why not go ahead and start (or continue) the pursuit?
And along the way, my theme words for 2011:
- honest
- loving
- willing
- open
- courageous
- compassionate
- generous
- adventurous
- silly
- thoughtful/reflective/mindful
- passionate
- introspective
- confident
- learning
- simple
- inspired

Into the wide openness of 2011 I go...I better hang on because I think it's going to be one heck of a ride!