lessons from Jane

In addition to realizing that because of Jane I know to cut roses (at a diagonal) just above the first five leaflet leaf under the stem, as I sat at Jane's funeral service today, I realized just how many lessons I'd learned from her. Many that others have learned as well.
Jane was the best sort of teacher because she taught by the way she lived her life. No preaching from Jane. No judgment from Jane. Just wisdom and experience and a genuine desire to listen and offer her thoughts about the situation. Or just to listen. Jane reminded us all to live life to the fullest - right until the very end. Apparently, just days before she went into the hospital for the visit when she would only leave as an angel on her way to heaven, she was asking one of her daughters for some hand weights because she thought she needed to stay in shape (she was 92, friends! This is perhaps what gets you to 92...and beyond!). And when she moved to San Antonio (from NOLA where she and Gran were steadfast friends for 50+ years) a few years ago, she was determined to make a new set of friends. Judging from the ladies who filled the pews in the church today, she accomplished this goal. Speaking of friends. She had many. Of all ages. From all walks of life. Jane knew no strangers. If she hadn't met you yet she was all the more eager to get to know you. And once she knew you, she considered you a friend for life. Of course, some friends (like Gran) fell into a special category. Those friends were like family.
She also taught me about faith. I think Jane was able to be so positive because she was grounded in the firm belief that God was taking care of her. That even the things that didn't appear to be "working out" really were because they were part of God's plan. That at the end of the day maybe we shouldn't worry so much because we really weren't in control of all that much! And you know, I think Jane created an optimistic world of self-prophecy. I should take note!
Accepting and warm, everyone felt special around Jane. She adored her family above all else - her husband, her two daughters, her five grandchildren, and her eleven great-grandchildren. I'm so glad she met all of them! I know someday they will know how lucky they were to have known her.
Inquisitive, caring, warm, honorable, wise...and, above all, loving, Jane will be missed. Mostly by her family, but also by her friends. Especially one whom I talk to daily. I was very aware as I sat in the church today that the words of her grandkids as they remembered Jane were very familiar as they were things I would say about Gran and my relationship with her. And so, in addition to all of the other lessons that I realized Jane had taught me, as I sat there today I also learned about letting go. I watched Jane's family let her go. I listened to Allison and Ann talk about their last days and moments with their mom. I talked to Katy about her experience with Jane's passing on. I prayed a silent prayer that I will be able to let go when it's Gran's time to go. Let go gracefully, that is. I will have to let go for she will be up in heaven and unless I make it a point to go with her, I'll still be here on earth while she rises up to meet Jane and Granddaddy and Harold and Dallas and Knox and Dell and Hartwell and Phyllis and Ann and her parents and Snooky and, and, and... My heart goes out to Gran right now in a special way. It must be very lonely to have all of your closest friends no longer with you. To know they are all gathered up above just waiting for you. And in this, my heart is also beginning to break a little and prepare for what I know is inevitable. That Gran will not be with us forever. There's nothing urgently wrong with her right now, but what she "has" is not going away and someday her body is just going to say, "I'm done". With congestive heart failure, a replacement heart valve that will eventually give out, and a pacemaker that I'm not sure they will replace (she's already been through two or three!) after it gives out, it's pretty much a miracle of modern medicine that Gran is able to do all that she does. I'd be lying if I didn't say that I'm worried that with most of her dear friends no longer a phone call away, she's going to find it more and more difficult to keep going. I've told her she has inherited all of the grandchildren of her friends who have lost grandmothers recently and she laughed and said she had her hands full with her own grandkids! She really is sharp as a tack...which is a blessing. But I know she's sad. She misses Jane and everyone else. And while I can't wait for her to be with them again, selfishly I'm praying that we get to keep her for as long as she's living a life of quality. When that ends, I'm happy for her to go join the party that's waiting for her up in heaven. Although I'm making no promises that I'll be terribly graceful about it. But Katy and her family reminded me that there is gracefulness in tears and hugs and the love of friends. And today reminded me that relationships - no matter the sort - are precious and should be nurtured and cherished. I'm not sure which of these lessons is the most important - I suspect they all are. Which is as it should be. Godspeed, Jane...and comfort to all who knew and loved her...especially my Gran and Jane's family. Another amazing woman I am blessed to have known. Jane, thank you for sharing your life with my family. I'm glad that you're up in heaven looking out for us...we all need another guardian angel.