what's in a number?

So this weekend, among other things (like birthday celebrations and Easter and good times with friends), was about a lot of BIG numbers when it comes to IM CDA training. A 100 mile bike ride. Yes, Gran, you're supposed to drive distances like that, unless you're training for an Ironman. And then a 20 mile run. Another distance you really could drive. This is to and from work for me...something I would never think of running on a given day! By far, these were our longest rides and runs to date. I've done the distances before, a few times over now, in fact. But I think that perhaps no matter how many times someone might ride 100 miles in a lifetime, it's still a thrill. What's even more of a thrill is to have it feel even better than the last time you did it.
The Fitzhugh-Johnson City ride was the very first century that I ever rode. Last year when we did it, it was COLD and WINDY. But there was really nothing new about that given last year's training season. It was mostly COLD and WINDY. But I remember feeling particularly "spent" after the ride. I met up with Joe, Blythe, Laura, Yvonne, and Matt at Kerbey Lane when I finished, and I nearly fell asleep at the table. This year was a different story. For some odd reason, I felt incredibly strong from start to finish. I had joked with Jess that morning that maybe one day I'd wake up and just be fast on the bike and maybe that day would be today! HA! I wasn't quite fast but I certainly was faster than last year. Last year I averaged about 13.9 mph which is indicative of the wind but also makes me wonder what the heck I was doing and if I was perhaps pedaling backwards some of the time?! This year, I averaged 16.06 mph. If you know me, you will realize that this is like traveling at the speed of light for me over a distance of 100 miles...with hills. (If you don't know me, I don't really know why you care enough to read this...but you probably think 16 mph is pathetic...well, not for me!!) But the very best part of the ride was that I felt energized, able to keep up, able to push it, able to lead, and able to enjoy it. The day was ideal...cool in the morning and then plenty sunny and even warm (finally adding some color back to my arms, legs, and face after the winter!)...and the route is one that I love. It's something like 6,000 ft of climbing and is a lot like the CDA course so it's a great ride for us doing that Ironman. But it is also really pretty...lots of fields with animals (cows, antelopes with twisted antlers?!) and, in the right season, BLUEBONNETS and other wildflowers. And they were out in all of their glory this past weekend. And this time, we got the extra treat of crossing a low water crossing where there was actually a lot of water...next time I'll get off my bike and walk through such things. This time, I foolishly rode through and then willed my gears to work for me on the other side. Live and learn. But it was sort of exciting. And scary. Anyway, it's pretty much a ride that when the weather is good and you are feeling good reminds you of why you ride a bike instead of taking a country drive on a Saturday. And for me, Saturday was such a ride. Very exciting...and something that brings me both encouragement and gratitude.
Post-ride activities included a quick brick and then a birthday celebration complete with beer, ice cream cake, fajitas, guacamole, bocce ball, and good times hanging out with friends. Although nearly all of us were exhausted from the day's activities, it was just nice to be together without an agenda, enjoying a beautiful spring evening, hanging out in comfy chairs in a backyard with our feet up...pretty much, for me, the day doesn't get much better than that!
Sunday brought more numbers. Of note, a 20 mile run...broken up into two 10 mile loops around Town Lake from Barton Springs Pool. Of more significant note, the humidity was about 105%. Yes, that means what you think it means. It really should be raining, and sometimes it was, but mostly what we got was a veil of mist to run through. Every once in a while we caught a light breeze which we welcomed, whether it was a headwind or a tailwind. But mostly, it was a long, muggy run. And even though Jess and I pushed it and kept at what we thought was good pace, I have to admit I was disappointed to crunch the numbers post-run and see what our actual pace had been. And that is really the point of this post.
I've struggled (although not been 100% fixated) to not worry about that or count it as a "bad run" because of that pace. Really, what does it tell other than our speed over land? The bigger story to tell is how nice it was to run with Amy, Jess, and John...of how we pretty much looked like we'd already been swimming in Barton Springs before we even got back there to soak...of how we kept moving the whole time and even passed a few people...of how we were doing all of this after a 100 mile ride yesterday...of how we even felt like we were going faster than we were and might have even claimed to have felt "strong" at certain points along the way. THOSE are the more important parts of the story of our run and of my training.
And yet, I sometimes cling to the numbers. Don't we all?
When we're students, we look at our grades/GPA. When we're adults, we look at the salaries we're earning. When we're training, we look at paces and distances and calories. We always seem to be counting something in this world as if having more is always better and that whatever quantity we have of something (everything from college acceptances to job offers, dresses to cars...even friends) defines our self-worth. I talk to my students about this all the time these days. I would never let them define themselves based on college admissions offer, just as I know I should not define myself based on a pace or a time or a distance on one given day. Just because I didn't have the run I wanted to (well, I did...the pace just didn't confirm that!) doesn't mean that I'm a terrible runner. And just because I had a superb bike ride doesn't mean I'm an awesome cyclist. Both things just mean that at a snapshot moment in time, that's where I was...in my training...in my workout...on a given day. And like most other things in our lives, all of that could change in an instant, for better or worse.
SO, what's in a number? A lot. And nothing at all. Or maybe as much or as little as you want to give it on any given day. Which makes it all seem pretty darn relative.