The good news is that in the midst of it all I was able to keep in my life the things that I love. Perhaps not enough of them. But some bit of them to remind me that I'm more than my work, which I was beginning to doubt.
I started my week off with my favorite "zen swim" at Barton Springs (and, as you might remember, found myself there 4 times last week!). And while I was there, swimming in the quiet waters, watching the dark night slip away and be replaced by the dawn, I realized that this
is one of my "happy places" in Austin...perhaps on earth. There's just something about it. The waters are calming - but water always has been for me. The way that I feel when I'm swimming makes me think for a moment that I'm graceful and strong and in control. And the connection I feel to the earth and the world around me is at once very powerful and very distant...like I'm deep in our water-covered planet and also in some other underwater universe.Anyway, I had plenty of time to get lost in my thoughts since I decided to do a longer swim there (8 laps on Monday morning). And one of the chapters of my thoughts was about the project that a student of mine is doing and invited me to be part of. It's going to highlight people's passions. It's a "photo essay relating loosely to the theme of individuals making the world a better place by doing what they love to do." She also writes that she is "particularly drawn to how our choice of activities shapes our identity - for ourselves and for others." She asked some of us from school for permission to snap our photograph while we are doing what we love.
Flattered. Humbled. Embarrassed. Yes. All of those things. But I said yes - hopefully she will touch up the photos! So inevitably, my mind has ventured down the "and just what do you love?" path. And then, when you figure that out, just how does it make the world a better place? Or does it? And how does it shape my identity? Or does it?
Well, let me tell you that once you go through those questions, you're pretty much convinced that there's nothing to photograph except for a face of a puzzled you.
But I said, "yes" - I really do find my students difficult to turn down...but I'm also intrigued by this project. I think it's neat and thoughtful and genuine. All things I admire and aspire to be.
But I'm finding that I really have no idea what she will photograph me doing. I'm curious to see what she's thinking of for me. But I'm also trying to think of things myself. There's being with friends. My job. Talking to family on the phone (and hearing Gran say, "hi, love!"). Swimming. Eating snocones. Baking. Listening to music and podcasts. Reading. Bringing a smile to other people's faces. Yoga. And swimming at Barton Springs and showering there and the smiley, very pleasant-except-when-she's-fussing-at-us woman there who Amy thinks I'm destined to be...
And then it occurred to me that maybe my passion could be swimming...and that the picture could be in BSP (head shot only, of course!)... And I was liking this. Except for I'm not sure how it improves the lives of anyone in this planet except mine!I do know that I got to swim on Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday this week and I'll go again this Friday and that in this off season, it seems to be the thing I keep coming back to. That and yoga. And that on Tuesday night I tackled side crow in yoga class. Zoe, our teacher, kept saying, "Let the air flow through you. What could you do if it was just about breathing? You could maybe do side crow." I'm thinking, "I could maybe get one foot off the floor..." And then that became both feet. And suddenly I was doing a modified version of crow. Take that you bird pose! I was doing side crow. And it felt empowering and exhilarating. And while I would like to claim yoga as my passion...I haven't spent enough time with it yet. Water. Swimming. Those are things that are lifelong pals for me. I think maybe they will be part of this photography project. Unless you have other ideas for me?
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