lessons

From yoga and from life.
Tonight's yoga class was particularly powerful. Both in the sense of how I felt and in the message I feel like I received.
As soon as we got to our mats, Dean asked us to acknowledge the lessons that we've had thus far in life. Our successes. Our failures. The good and the bad. All of those things that make us who we are and that, as Dean said, bring us one step closer to "home" - whatever "home" means to us. To me, it means being authentically who I am. It means having the courage to be that person. Wherever I am. With whomever I am with. It sounds so simple. But I find a way to make it messy. I get scared. I fear judgement. I fear rejection. I fear not measuring up. But I'm working on that. And articulating it. And trying to be bolder and less fearful in my life - in relationships, at work, in the promises I make to myself, in general. It's hard for me, I'm not going to lie. But it's good work. It's that work that just feels like it's right in your heart. Which is sort of a funny statement to make because I feel that about 99% of what I do...odd that this should be the last place that I tackle with that intention and purpose and authenticity.
I don't mean to suggest I've been a farce for all of my life! I just think that I'm more willing to listen to some areas of my heart that I conveniently tuned out. And I think I'm more confident in my own resilience to be able to open my heart in new ways. I think...we'll see. I know that I'm willing to give it a try.
And sort of like in yoga two weeks ago when I did a headstand thinking, "the worst I can do is fall over", I figure that here in this lesson, the worst that can happen is that it can be hard or I can get hurt or I can decide it's not for me. And in all of that, the lessons learned will have been worth it. I can't think of a single lesson in my life that hasn't been.
Dean also opened and closed the class with U2's MLK. WOW. How have I missed this in my life? As someone wrote, "it's still the perfect lullaby." I love the lyrics: "Sleep, sleep tonight...and may your dreams be realized. If the thundercloud passes rain, so let it rain, rain down...so let it be." So peaceful. So comforting. So powerful a reminder that our dreams may be realized and that we are just to let things be. I leave you with this for a Sunday night...sweet dreams.