authenticity and vulnerability

A few months ago, I wrote to a friend that some years ago I'd promised myself that I was not going to live my life in fear of things. In other words, I was not going to not do things because I was afraid of the outcome. I don't remember any one thing being the wake-up call for me. I just remember one day realizing that I'd lived my life in "safe mode" for a long time. Note - this is not always a bad thing! But it sometimes meant that I was holding back, not putting myself out there, not saying or doing things because I was afraid I might fail or make a fool of myself or get hurt. The downside of this was that by playing it so safe, I was missing out. Missing out on parts of relationships. Missing out on some adventures in life. Missing out on being truly me. This is not to say that I wasn't being me...but I was not being fully me. For fear of rejection. For fear of falling short of my own expectations. For, for, for...for so many things. So I've been practicing being more fully me in the last few years.
As a result, I've felt a lot better about the life that I'm living and the relationships I'm creating or continuing. It's a more freeing way to live. But it's also a scarier way to live. One that leaves me with a more peaceful heart at the end of the day...but one that also makes my heart race a little more on a daily basis!
This quotation from Brene Brown helped me realize just why I feel this way. It's about "authenticity" and I just love it...and keep trying to live it.
"Authenticity is a daily practice.
Choosing authenticity means I'm cultivating the courage to be imperfect, to set boundaries, and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable; exercising the compassion that comes from knowing that we are all made of strength and struggle and connected to each other through a loving and resilient human spirit; nurturing the connection and sense of belonging that can only happen when we let go of what we are supposed to be and embrace who we are.
Authenticity demands wholehearted living and loving - even when it's hard, even when we're wrestling with the shame and fear of not being good enough, and especially when the joy is so intense that we're afraid to let ourselves feel it.
Mindfully practicing authenticity during our most soul-searching struggles is how we invite grace, and joy, and gratitude into our lives."