everything happens for a reason

I really believe that.
Even when it's something awful, I have to believe that there is a silver lining, a lesson that had to be learned that way, some strength to be gained...even if I don't see it, I have to believe it. I'm not sure how you get through tough stuff otherwise.
But even in the more insignificant things, I think they happen for a reason. Like on Tuesday when I slept right through my alarm. No memory of hitting snooze. No memory of turning it off. Only the memory of waking up at 5:30 a.m. (instead of 4:45 a.m.) a little startled and bummed that there was no way to get to Lost Creek for 5:45 a.m. swim practice. Ugh. Lucky for me (well, for all of us who live in Austin), there are LOTS of pools that are open at that hour that are free...and some that are heated!
So I headed over to one of my old stomping grounds, Stacy Pool. It was a little bit like going back in time because when I first got into swimming again, I used to go to Stacy every day - usually after work - and do some made-up swim workout. There are only a few lanes set aside for lap swimmers but in the early mornings, the lap swimmers can pretty much take over the pool since there aren't many kids playing with fun noodles in the "free swim" side of the pool! It felt oddly familiar and sort of like "going home" again to be swimming at Stacy.
The pool is heated so the steam was rising from it and I lucked out and ended up with a lane to myself...for the entire time! The pool is an odd length (33 and 1/3 per length or something?) and at first I tried to do that math, but my mental math skills are not their sharpest at 6 a.m. (or ever, really!)...so I decided to call every 4 lengths a 100 like we normally would. That being said, I got a nice long workout. That I sort of made up. Like old times. Warm-up + the main set three times through @ 80%, then 85%, then 90%: 300 swim, 300 pull, 300 with fins - mixing in some kicking + a cool down. Seemed like a good way to spend an hour in the pool!
But the swim was not the "silver lining" part of my time at Stacy. I got to see my friend Martha who I used to swim with in the mornings at Stacy when I switched up my schedule. She's a wonderful person and it was nice to re-connect with her and see how she's doing. And I also got to have one of those sort of rare encounters in the changing room with a perfect stranger.
I'm not sure what struck me first - the smell of cigarettes that was pouring from her or the fact that her bag was about 1/3 the size of mine...and it had pretty much everything she owned in it. Pause. I looked at my bag stuffed to the gills with an extra pair of this and an extra pair of that and some extra pre-workout nutrition, etc... and suddenly felt very small. Or maybe too big. Anyway, she asked to borrow some shampoo and soap which was a no-brainer...of course she could. I asked if she needed anything else and she said she had all she needed...and then she paused. And continued.
"I just had a shower here with hot water, and there's even a heat lamp to keep us warm while we get dressed. And I had a dry place to sleep last night. Now, I'm gonna go find some coffee." And with that, she loaded her stuff into her bag and started to walk out. I stopped her just long enough to ask if she wanted my shampoo and soap to take with her and she said, "Thank you, sweetie, but they are too heavy to carry. If you're here next time though I'll use some again if that's okay." I said, "Of course it would be okay. Have a good day. I hope you stay warm and dry." And with that, she was gone. I'm not really sure where she was going. Someplace with coffee, I hope.
That encounter totally changed my morning and sent my emotions and thoughts in a million directions. I felt grateful for all that I have (from my warm bed to the roof over my head...from hot cups of coffee every day to enough food to have an "extra" nutrition stash....from a hot shower every day to a huge network of friends and family...from my job to my hobbies...the list goes on...). And I also felt a little guilty for all that I have. Not because I think I'm extravagant - although I have WAY more than I need. I know that and I try to be mindful of that and generous with my abundance although I think I'm always falling short in that area. But it's a funny thing to think, "Why her and not me?" when I have an encounter like I did in the changing room at Stacy. I think I'll spend the rest of my life asking that question and wrestling with both the answer and what to do with it. But for today, I'm sort of glad that I slept through my alarm on Tuesday...guess it was meant to be.
P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HUNTER!!! XOXO