here I go again...

Like many things in life, you go to do them again, and you find that they are a completely different experience. Such was training for my second Ironman. In many ways, training for IMCDA 2010 was much more difficult than training for IMCDA 2009 even though that one was my first Ironman.
In 2009, nearly everything was a first for me when I trained…my first 100 miler on the bike, my first 20+ miler running, my first 4K in a wetsuit. And there’s something to be said for novelty…and fear!...when it comes to sticking to a training schedule. It’s exciting to go for each bike ride because it will bring you to a distance that you have never accomplished before on a bike. It’s exciting to finish another long run because you’ve never run that far before…at least not in one morning! And finishing a wetsuit swim that’s nearly 2.4 miles is just plain fun...albeit a bit crazy. And you do it all day in and day out for 6 months because in the back of your mind you have that little voice that says, “What if you can’t really do these distances by June?”
But the second time around you know those distances. You have the confidence that you can do them and that is awesome and powerful. But you also know the pain and challenge of doing them…and those feelings are awesome and powerful, too! And, at least if you’re me, you have different expectations for yourself. Completion is always still the goal; but within that there are more specific goals. Go faster…ride harder…work the hills…focus on cadence…feel the water…be aware of form…be better than you were the time before….but keep having fun because you are doing this for fun…just to name a few.
If you remember, I loved (absolutely loved!) training for an Ironman the first time around…and the second time around was no different in that I still love it. But I was harder on myself. I actually trained less – in terms of hours spent at practice – but I was more focused with my training. Therefore, at each practice, I vowed to give it 100%. Even if that 100% was only about 80% of what I can actually do – it was all that I had on a given day. Last year I sometimes caught myself holding back, always anticipating the next practice and knowing that I had to have something to give to it. This time, I spread my practices out a little more, worked in a day off each week, and trusted that my body would and could recover between practices…therefore giving myself both more downtime but also cutting myself less slack. We’ll see how this method of training works out on June 27!
But it worked out really well during training…and after all, it needs to work for training because that is 6 months leading up to race day. It really can’t all be about race day. If it is, you risk spending 6 months being miserable…and you risk setting yourself up for a huge disappointment.
Lucky for me, I confirmed that I LOVE TRAINING for triathlons. I get a kick out of it. I thrive off of the physical activity and I have tried to learn from the successes I’ve had along the way…as well as the blips I’ve had along the way. I cannot call them “failures” because I don’t think anything that we learn from is a failure, and I’ll be the first to say that I’ve learned as much – if not more – from those very bad practices/runs/swims/bikes as I have from the good ones. For me, my training peels off layers of myself, makes me more vulnerable, makes me think about different parts of my life…and in some bizarre way, I hope it makes me a better, stronger, more open and loving person.
I feel really blessed by the comradery that being part of a team provides me. I have learned something from each and every teammate who’s been by my side through this journey. Some have taught me to laugh more (at myself and at other things); others have taught me to step back and appreciate what our bodies can do. From others I’ve learned that I can run faster or ride more miles or swim more repeats than I thought…or at least I’ve come to believe so by watching their example. From everyone, I’ve felt such an amazing sense of support in every form from the tangible to the intangible. It’s the notes left on my car…it’s the smiles along the trail (or the nods when we can’t muster a smile)…it’s the thumbs up as we pass one another on our bikes…it’s knowing at the end of the day that there are a bunch of other people striving for the same tangible end goal (and many intangible goals along the way...and at the end, too) who appreciate the sweat, the tears, the wind-chapped skin, the numb toes and fingers, the heart-thumping and all-encompassing journey that this experience can take you on…I can’t imagine doing this alone! As with so many other things in life, you learn that who is by your side makes all of the difference…and you learn that you really cannot do it alone.
And the T3 team has also given me wonderful coaches. Coaches who listen. Coaches who care. Coaches who “get” me. Coaches who hear my worries about this upcoming race and then say things like, “Well, let’s imagine it working out really wonderfully…and if it doesn’t, we’ll deal with that together on Monday.” Coaches who tell me when to dial it back and skip a practice and get some sleep. Coaches who say, “I think you can do this run at thus-and-such pace” (which is usually faster than I think I can go) and then applaud me when I do…or coach me through it when I don’t. Coaches who get goosebumps watching me nail a 40 mile ride followed by a 13 mile run. Coaches who are mentors and role models and inspirations and friends. I couldn’t ask for better.
And last but not least…my family and friends. The people who are so dear to me who give me the freedom to do these crazy things. Who might be scared for me but who above all enjoy seeing me happy and fulfilled and know that my life would be a little less of each if I didn’t have this triathlon stuff in it right now. People who will listen to tales about a weekend run and how cold or hot it was or who will tell me that I’m riding distances that I should only be driving. People who have met me for coffee late in the afternoon because I had to ride 80 miles that morning and I’m just not that fast! People who have supported me for YEARS now whether I’ve been ice skating or playing soccer or trying to make the honor roll or running for a class office or changing positions at work. You all are my backbone and the reason I ever had the confidence to try something crazy and new like this as an adult.
Yes, I might be the one who physically carries myself over the 140.6 miles (2.4 mile swim + 112 mile bike ride + 26.2 mile run/a marathon) on Sunday, June 27…but I won’t be out there alone. I’ll be digging deep into years of love and faith and friendship and support…and relying on every ounce of that knowing that I never would have gotten here alone. You’ve been with me along this journey and you’ll be with me in my heart that day. And if you want to see how the journey ends, be looking for #2330 on Sunday...
I hope to be able to update my blog from Idaho but I wanted to make sure to extend my gratitude before I left Austin. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for your friendship, your love, your support, your patience, and everything else that has made this journey worthwhile.