War Horse

I should preface this blog entry by saying that (much like other musicals, theater performances, concerts, art exhibits…and as cliché as it may sound) there is really no way to adequately describe War Horse to you in this entry. It was phenomenal. Not a self-described “horse person” – okay, maybe pretty far from a “horse person” given that out of fear I ended up grooming and not riding a horse for my entire first summer at camp (that is a story for another post…however, the story of “War Horse” made me think of sweet Mr. Ed. He was my own Joey.) - I enjoyed every minute of this production. The bottom line is that any animal lover, anyone who has ever loved or been loved by an animal (or a human for that matter), can relate to this story. I won’t re-tell it here, nor will I try to describe all of the high points for me, but I will say that it was another performance where I was reminded of the magic that comes with the theater. The ability to be truly transported to another place. For 2+ hours it was nearly impossible to see the wooden and leather structures that were being moved by people from within and without as anything but real horses. Joey – the main horse – came to life and literally grew up in front of our eyes. The actors and actresses who played Joey and the other horses were dancers, too. Not for a minute did I think, “oh, that’s just a puppet up there.” No. The horses neighed and swatted their tales and breathed and moved in ways that could have fooled anyone.
But, like most good performances, it was about more than just one thing. The story is replete with powerful relationships – some healthy, some not healthy – between mother and son, father and son, brothers, the powerful and the powerless, and on and on. The music was often the backdrop, but when the songs were the main focus their words were piercing. Refrains like “only remembered for what we have done, only the truth that in life we have spoken, only the seed we have sown, these shall pass on when we're forgotten..." can’t help but haunt you even as you leave the theater. Not in the way that I’ve been walking out of other theaters rushing to buy the soundtrack, but in the way that makes you want to take stock of your life and make sure you’re living it in the way that you want to be remembered.
And that is probably a great prelude to my conference that I head to on Sunday afternoon. We're going to be looking at the role of college counselors in the 21st century? Are we getting to do the job that we think we should be doing? Are we getting to be the people we think we should be at our schools/in our school communities? And for me, am I living out my life's work each day when I go to work? (Or at least the professional part of my life's work.) If I might be remembered in part for what I'm doing day in and day out at St. Andrew's, am I doing it in the way that I'd like to be remembered for. I know, that's a lot of thoughts for a three day conference...especially when we're going to be asking a lot of other questions!
I’m actually sitting in Grand Central Station right now, which is a beautiful little indoor refuge (I’ve already pointed out lots of outdoor refuges here!) in the city of New York. I found my favorite Joe’s coffee and treated myself to a latte. Oh my. First, it was beautiful – a little work of art on top. Second, it's just delicious. Then I wandered downstairs to find Dishes serving up fresh cups of fruit. Yes, please. Watermelon. Greek yogurt. Latte. Someone playing music in the background. An hour to write and read before my train to Bronxville. I’m a happy girl. And I’m a reflective girl. (That was your warning to stop reading now if you don't want to go there with me! I'm blaming this amazing latte that I'm drinking for taking me into some sort of reflective trance...)
I just spent 4 days pretty much alone in NYC. I have to say that is something that I probably never would have thought of doing five years ago…two years ago? Having the confidence to do that was wonderful. Being absolutely sure that I could make whatever I wanted to happen in those four days (within reason, of course!) happen was huge for me. I know, it’s probably not a big deal to a lot of people. It’s probably not a surprise to most people who view me as independent and capable of most things and all of that. I mean, if I was able to co-create (over the course of the past year) and make a trip to NM with eight students last month, why wouldn't I be able to handle myself in NYC. Or handle NYC by myself as the case might be. Maybe it was really just more about the fact that I would choose to do this. There are many things in life that we are capable of doing but we just never choose to do. I feel like there are probably a lot of things in my life that fall into that category. I think, small as it may seem, a trip like this reminds me that when (or if) I’m ever wanting to do those things, I definitely can.
So what was it like being in NYC for four days, on my own, without much of a plan? Well, it was wonderful. Freeing in that I didn't have to worry about anyone but myself - a real contrast to my trip to NM earlier this summer where I spent the whole time worrying about everyone but myself. And it was also revealing. I feel like my whole summer has been that! New Mexico was wonderful and revealing. My time in Austin was wonderful and revealing. And now my time in NYC was the same. Wonderful because there is a certain freedom to being able to create each day as it comes. To being able to listen to your pulse and stop and sit or keep walking or skip that museum or, or, or… And the revealing part: well, as wonderful as it was to be on my own (meaning that I wasn’t responsible for anyone else), I was reminded that I really don’t want to do trips like this on my own all of the time, for the rest of my life. Maybe once in a while. But not all of the time. There were too many moments that I wanted to share with someone. And while a perfect stranger might have welcomed my pointing something out to him/her, it would have been nice to have someone with me with whom I had some sort of previous relationship! I think I perhaps knew this about myself even before I took this trip but it was sort of nice to have it confirmed. And I learned similar things in NM and in Austin, that while so much of what I've created in my life is wonderful, there are lots of parts that I want to continue to tweak and improve upon. And you know, I love that. I think if I'm ever in the spot where I say "I've arrived...this is it...nothing more to do" in either life or work or relationships then I'm missing something. Doesn't mean I can't find peace in the present, just means that sometimes that peace is in the knowing that all is well...and that there is still more fine tuning to be done. (And the curtain closes on my rambling thoughts for the day...congrats on making it to the last scene of this production!)