What a day.I seriously haven't felt so overwhelmed, emotional, exhausted in a long time. And that was all without a single workout in my day. Normally I would say that was part of the problem, but I think I really needed a day off to feel ready for the weekend that I have ahead of me (80 miles + a 40 min run on Saturday followed by an 18 mile run on Sunday) and to ward off some crud that has been trying to insert itself into my life for about 2 weeks now. Plus, I had a 7 a.m. meeting, a full day of work, a bike saddle fit, and then a speaker to attend from 7-9 p.m. Perfectly reasonable day to suspend workouts, especially when I'd already hit my hours for the week, right? Absolutely.
Well, tell that to my type A personality. She was in overdrive today. By my 7 a.m. meeting I had already half convinced myself that I was being a wimp, that I should have gone for at least a quick neighborhood run, and that I had been a fool to sign up for IM #2. I know. Crazy thinking. Pile all sorts of work stress on top of that and the questioning continued about how I was going to get everything done in the next week, if I'd been on top of anything in the past week, and general worries about how well I'm doing my job because I seem to always be behind. Insert worries that I'm not showing up for everyone in the ways that I would like to and, I'm not kidding, by 8:30 a.m. when I was late for a meeting because my first meeting got out late, I was barely breathing. Well, I did get enough oxygen in my brain to have the wherewithal to do two things: 1) eat breakfast and get some coffee and 2) curse my type A personality! Both efforts were actually quite satisfactory.
And once I'd calmed down just enough I emailed a few friends who were kind enough to "listen" to my freak-out. And then I got down to work. And I don't think I really sat down all day. Until I got to Jack and Adam's to try a new bike seat - we'll see how it goes on my ride this weekend - where I also ran into Jess and I literally sat on the floor while Zane tweaked her bike seat. Just talking to her and Zane, after my many emails with Amy that helped during the day, got me to a better place...where I could finally go hear an educator talk about the importance of the right brain in the future of education. (No offense to the left brain...it has its place, too...but the right brain creativity, intuition, teamwork, etc... is going to be just as important according to this speaker, and lots of other educators and researchers.)
Heading home from the speaker I noticed that I was breathing better, that I had somehow reframed the day and figured out how to manage it without a total meltdown - no small feat considering how close to tears I was on several occasions. Grateful to my friends who were there for me. And determined to make tomorrow a less stressful, meltdown worthy day! Must focus on sleep tonight and good eating and hydrating tomorrow. Have to say that I heard my mom's voice several times..."when was the last time you got a really good night's sleep and had a good meal?" When I didn't have an answer to that she would recommend both and tell me to call her back. Think I need to heed her advice again (although I've been good with the food stuff lately...); sometimes moms really do know what they are talking about.
Well, tell that to my type A personality. She was in overdrive today. By my 7 a.m. meeting I had already half convinced myself that I was being a wimp, that I should have gone for at least a quick neighborhood run, and that I had been a fool to sign up for IM #2. I know. Crazy thinking. Pile all sorts of work stress on top of that and the questioning continued about how I was going to get everything done in the next week, if I'd been on top of anything in the past week, and general worries about how well I'm doing my job because I seem to always be behind. Insert worries that I'm not showing up for everyone in the ways that I would like to and, I'm not kidding, by 8:30 a.m. when I was late for a meeting because my first meeting got out late, I was barely breathing. Well, I did get enough oxygen in my brain to have the wherewithal to do two things: 1) eat breakfast and get some coffee and 2) curse my type A personality! Both efforts were actually quite satisfactory.
And once I'd calmed down just enough I emailed a few friends who were kind enough to "listen" to my freak-out. And then I got down to work. And I don't think I really sat down all day. Until I got to Jack and Adam's to try a new bike seat - we'll see how it goes on my ride this weekend - where I also ran into Jess and I literally sat on the floor while Zane tweaked her bike seat. Just talking to her and Zane, after my many emails with Amy that helped during the day, got me to a better place...where I could finally go hear an educator talk about the importance of the right brain in the future of education. (No offense to the left brain...it has its place, too...but the right brain creativity, intuition, teamwork, etc... is going to be just as important according to this speaker, and lots of other educators and researchers.)
Heading home from the speaker I noticed that I was breathing better, that I had somehow reframed the day and figured out how to manage it without a total meltdown - no small feat considering how close to tears I was on several occasions. Grateful to my friends who were there for me. And determined to make tomorrow a less stressful, meltdown worthy day! Must focus on sleep tonight and good eating and hydrating tomorrow. Have to say that I heard my mom's voice several times..."when was the last time you got a really good night's sleep and had a good meal?" When I didn't have an answer to that she would recommend both and tell me to call her back. Think I need to heed her advice again (although I've been good with the food stuff lately...); sometimes moms really do know what they are talking about.
1 comment:
here is to today being a true off day...sometimes the mental pressure we put on ourselves is worse than the stress on the body from a workout...today will be a nice, calm day to get you ready for the weekend....
and i'm posting this at 3.40am...i should be one to talk :)
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