straight to my heart

Words that is. They sometimes go straight to my heart. Not in one ear and out the other but on a direct path to my core.
Starting this morning at the pool with Chrissie, who on our last 100 with fins said, "Go catch them, Elizabeth." "Sure thing, Chrissie" is what I thought, totally uncertain of what I had in me. My legs were still feeling a little spent from the weekend + yoga on Monday morning + a hill workout Monday night + a swim on Tuesday morning + core/spin on Tuesday night. I ended up catching the boys in my lane and finished off the set with a 1:09 on the last one - 5 seconds faster than I had been holding for the other five 100s. I'm not super competitive but every once in a while when a coach says, "Go catch him/her/them" (Logan sometimes says this to me, too), I do find an extra gear in me that I didn't think I had. It's as if the words go to my core and flip that switch for me. And that is a good reminder to me that I usually do have a little more in me than I imagined.
When I hopped out of the pool, Chrissie said, "You're getting faster...and it's only March." Those words also bee-lined for my heart. I've been feeling rundown and tired by our training - which is natural since this is the first big ramp-up that we have...but still...I would like to feel stronger and more energetic. I know, that's asking a lot. And I've even had my moments of feeling pure frustration...and pure excitement. But since Sunday especially I've been feeling as if the wind's been taken out of my sails a little. Trying to use the "mind over matter" approach, I've told myself I'm just tired and that's okay and that I'm not really as slow or weak as I feel. But no workout until spin Tuesday night gave me any encouragement otherwise. And then the "deal was sealed" this morning at Circle C and tonight at Deep Eddy. (Yep, two swims in one day...I'm in heaven!!!) It's nice to feel like I'm on the mend...
And seriously nice to have those words warming my heart because at school I heard some words that went straight to my heart in another way. I've had to miss advisory for two days now because I've had to either administer an exam or speak to another group of students and one of my advisees said, "Miss Guice, I feel like you've abandoned us." Knife. Heart. Insert. Turn it a little. Yep. That's the feeling. Ugh. One of my greatest fears, that someone will feel abandoned by me as a friend, daughter, granddaughter, sibling, teammate, advisor, colleague... I am sure it actually happens all the time, but I feel like I'm juggling so much right now that I'm probably letting people down left and right. That being said, I know the student was joking...well, sort of...because I did prep them for my absences this week. And they can (or need to!) stand on their own two feet. But still.

Okay, off to finish some work and eventually get to bed...I need some words about sleep to go straight to my heart, too...finding that there is just too much to be done each day and trying to figure out how to fit it all in. I know I'm not alone!