practice what you preach , elizabeth

Inevitably when you take on something like an Ironman race no matter how much you try to call it an "event" to take the focus off of the idea of a "race" with times and splits, etc... the topic of goals eventually comes up. Whenever anyone asks me what my goals are, I proudly exclaim (usually with arms up in the air): "To finish and have fun!" I think it's a great goal...especially for my first Ironman!
But I think I always knew that I'd probably have some sort of time goal somewhere along the way, too. I'm just enough competitive with myself to do something like that! And I've seen myself progress enough in certain areas to be curious about what I could possibly accomplish. So about two weeks ago when I met with Chrissie to talk about the race, she helped me think about some goals. And since then I've talked to Logan and Suzanne to get their two cents about goals in general - and specifically. And I finally put mine down on paper, trying not to hyperventilate along the way (I kind of did work myself into a tizzy last Tuesday but was calmed down by some friends - thank you, friends). I'm not sure why I found that process of putting goals down on paper so terrifying. My reaction took me completely by surprise. It's not like I'm making them public - actually, I've shared them with 3 people total. (Beyond general statements like, "I think I'll finish between x hour and x hour" to help people track me.) It's not like there's any shame to falling short of any or all of the goals. Really, completing the training and heading to CDA to complete the race and then completing it on Sunday is/will be an achievement in and of itself. So why the big deal about the goals that I put down on paper?
Because I have this strong perfectionist streak in me. And at times like these it doesn't serve me well! So the temptation is to change the goals to all be within reach so that I won't risk failure. I know this seems ridiculous because there is nothing remotely close to failing if/when you complete an Ironman. But thoughts like this almost sent me back to my Word document today to readjust the goals.
But something stopped me.
And it was my own words.
Each fall as I meet with seniors to talk about their college lists, I encourage them to have "reach" schools on their lists. (And "stretch" schools and "likely" schools.) Schools that are BIG dreams. Schools that they probably won't get into but WOW if they did, how wonderfully surprising it would be. Schools that represent courage to reach even if you fall short. Schools that make you vulnerable because you know that you might be disappointed by their answers for you. I reason with students that the world is not going to end if they hear "no". That they are not any less valuable as people if they don't get something that they've reached for. And that it's a good lesson to go after something that you really want, even if you don't achieve it. At least that way, you don't live in a world of regret.
Damn it's difficult to listen to yourself.
I'm a little scared to keep the reaches as ultimate goals. I'm even nervous about the stretch goals I put down on paper. And even the likely goals humble me.
But I'm going to be bold and courageous and leave my goals as they are.
If I've had the courage to come this far then I need to have the courage to keep the reaches, be delighted with the stretch goals, and be thrilled with the likely outcomes on Sunday...even if I fall short of a reach or a stretch. I won't have disappointed anyone else. I won't have let anyone else down. And the truth is that if I give it my all in terms of heart and energy, I won't have let myself down either. I think I will regret it if I don't go for it. Onward to my goals, with slightly shaky hands I reach up to them.
P.S. "elizabeth" and not "etg" is intentional...sometimes I need to be stern with myself!