hurdles

Okay, not real hurdles on the track but certainly mental ones. I was a total headcase today about mile repeats today. Why? I don't really know. I think I was scared that I wouldn't be able to do them as well as I wanted to or that they wouldn't be better than the last time we did them and that I'd feel like I'd encountered a setback or something. Yes, I could rationalize this by saying, "Umm...no one is going to die if you don't go faster or as fast as you did before. What are you trying to prove and to whom are you trying to prove it? And it might not even mean that much about where you are in your training. After all since Sunday you've run 15 miles, gone to a 1 hr. yoga class, gone to the specialty run, completed a 3600m swim workout, done a 20 min. core class + a 70 minute spin class, and done an hour long core class this morning." Sounds reasonable that my legs might be tired and that I just might not be that fast, right? Yes, reasonable to a reasonable person. I usually am that person but not today - or at least not with myself.
Anyway, I did have enough good sense to confess to Coach Logan that I was all worked up over freakin' mile repeats and somehow a simple email from him helped me start to calm down. I'm not sure I ever calmed down about it entirely (until the workout was over!), but I was in a better place when I arrived at O'Henry.
Did the first mile by myself - 8:28. And then was joined by Jane and Val (who was so off on her calculations about how fast she would go that it's now laughable!). Mile 2 - 7:54. Mile 3 - 7:45. Mile 4 - 7:39. Didn't quite nab that 10 second drop between miles 3 and 4 but that's okay. It's much better than I've done before on these (last time we did mile repeats my fastest was 7:57 and I was elated to break 8:00). Not the fastest I've ever run a mile either but still feeling good about it.
More than anything though, I feel like I accomplished something mentally. I'm sure I'll feel anxious the next time we do mile repeats. I might always feel that way. But I needed to go tonight and just do this workout . I needed to show up for myself and let whatever the track and my legs brought me be okay. And I did. And it was. One hurdle down...at least for today!