Well, at least that's how the storm that swept through Austin Tuesday night appeared to me. Seriously, I had no idea it was coming. Which goes to show just how much of a black hole I've been living in for the past 24 hours. Soon to change, however, now that College Night is behind me!
I get so worked up and worried about it (sort of like I did with mile repeats). I plan...I change the plan...I add something new...I take away something that I just added...I change plans again because someone gets sick...the cycle feels endless. Until 6:30 p.m. when the program starts. And then I can't fuss with it anymore. I calmly walk up to the microphone and begin my out of body experience. Seriously, I can get so so nervous about public speaking that I learned a long time ago that I pretty much need to dissociate from my body when I speak. Otherwise I might freeze up and not be able to speak at all. People generally think I'm as calm as I'm pretending to be, which is a good thing, I guess. And once the program gets started it always flows really well - which convinces me that all of the pre-event worrying is worth it! Bad cycle. But tonight went great, thanks to my colleagues who held their own in their presentations. I'm so grateful for them. It was a late night but I think a good one.
And then I went home and was settling in to read email and the wind started. And then the rain (which we need desperately). And the wind was 55 mph in some parts of Austin. I listened for the hail but it never came. But the storm shook the windows and made me wish I were at camp listening to the rain fall on a tin roof.
And then it was gone...quiet again. As if nothing had ever happened. Great metaphor for different times in our lives.
I sort of wish it was still raining because I think that thunderstorms make for ideal sleeping weather...and sleep and bed are calling my name.
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