Tally for the week:
1) some more Brussels Sprouts (I hate to throw them away as much as I hate to eat them...darn Scotch-Irish, Puritan "don't waste anything" background of mine!!), plus
2) a stronger backbone at work while still keeping my heart in it
I've learned that I can't always tell people what they want to hear. I can't always make everything okay. I sometimes have to disappoint people or deliver disappointing news to people. But I can still be compassionate and understanding. I can listen to people. I can try to make people feel better or help them right a wrong. I will admit when I'm wrong and try to fix whatever I've messed up. But I don't have to be Bozo Bop Bag who just kept popping back up for more punches square in the face. I can pause and listen, step back, re-evaluate the scene, open my mouth and say something, listen some more, make a plan of action, and eventually walk away. I'm not immune from feeling like "Bozo" at work, but I've come a long way. (Note: this does not mean that I'm not capable of being a "bozo" in other areas of my life - see explanation below.*)
A few years ago the "punches" that have been thrown my way this past week (and the punches that came my way throughout last year) would have knocked me flat. I know that Bozo pops right back up again, but he keels over pretty hard before that. I'm keeping the resiliency that he possesses, but I'm not going all the way to the ground first! Don't get me wrong, I'm not quite the Everlast heavy punching bag yet - I think that thing is nearly impossible to budge - but I'm way better than I used to be at standing my ground and feeling confident about the ground that I'm standing on. I'm better at putting things in perspective. I'm much more resilient than I used to be, even if things do really upset me sometimes. And I'm realizing that all of these qualities are helpful at work, in relationships, in life...and in Ironman training. So, maybe I can be a grown-up version of "Bozo" - all of the good qualities and none of the use "keep knocking me down" qualities?!
*Note from earlier in blog:
Ironman "bozo" move of the week - three workouts in one day?! Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. I get so excited about having free time to try new things (like a day off from work on Monday) that I try to cram a whole lot in - 3 workouts + breakfast with friends + some work + a long overdue drop of stuff at Goodwill + cooking some meals! But workout-wise, I always underestimate the power of yoga and then I'm reminded of it the next day. Thank goodness I had already planned to take today off! So, I'm still growing up in every area of my life - especially in this literal training ground. But I'm pretty much an toddler in the Ironman world so a few regressions are to be expected. Sigh. Smile.
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